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Market Porter (London)
Paul Conroy (Buried)
Jesus, where am I.
Fuck, I can't move...
What's this.....a box....trapped?.....Where.
Mobile phone....I'm in Iraq, but where?
Trapped, can't move....can't see.....Jesus.
......
Mobile phone......gives me light....thank Christ......
Jesus, I'm in a box....I'm in a box....I dare not say it......a coffin....
Can't move properly.....
I'm stuck....thirsty....can't call out......
Jesus.
* tries to make mobile call, but fails *
Oh Christ; those Iraquis buried me.....in a box....underground.
I am in hell......
MInd you......things could be worse.
I could be stuck with a bunch of nob-heads in the Market Porter in London
The most over-rated boozer in the world.
Paul Conroy's rating for the Market Porter - 0 / 10
Sputnikski
- Abercorn Arms (Teddington) Teddington, Middlesex,
- Adelaide (Teddington) Teddington, Middlesex,
- Albion (Winchester) Winchester
- All Bar One (Docklands)
- All Bar One (Sutton) Sutton, Surrey
- Angel (Old Street) London
- Angel in the Fields (Marylebone) London
- Angelic (Angel) Islington
- Angies III (Willesden) Willesden, London,
- Anglers (Teddington) Teddington, Middlesex,
- Antelope (Belgravia) London,
- Arbitrager (Bank) London
- Argyll (Oxford Circus) London,
- Audley (Mayfair) London
- Bank of England (Fleet Street) London
- Bar Sagres (Geneva) Geneva
- Barmy Arms (Twickenham) Twickenham, Middlesex,
- Bayswater Arms (Bayswater) Bayswater, London
- Beehive (Brixton) London,
- Bell (Cannon Street) London,
- Bishop on the Bridge (Winchester) Winchester
- Bishops Finger (Smithfields) and Blue Anchor (Hammersmith) London
- Black Boy (Winchester) Winchester
- Blackfriar (Blackfriars) London
- Blonde Beer Cafe (Winchester) Winchester
- Blue Lion (Holborn) London
- Blue Lion (Holborn) London
- Boleyn Tavern (Upton Park) London,
- Bootys Bar (Limehouse) London
- Brewmaster (Leicester Square) London,
- Brewmaster (Leicester Square) London,
- Britannia (Monument) London,
- Browns Bar (Westminster) Westminster
- Butchers Hook and Cleaver (Smithfields) London
- Cabbage Patch (Twickenham) Twickenham, Middlesex,
- Cafe Iguana (Tobago) Store Bay
- Chandos (Trafalgar Square) London,
- Chinese Tower, Englischer Garten (Munich) London
- Chippenham (Maida Vale-ish) London,
- City Darts (Aldgate) London,
- Clachan (Soho) London,
- Claddagh Ring (Hendon) London,
- Coach and Horses (Covent Garden) London
- Coal Hole (Charing Cross) London
- Cock & Woolpack (Bank) London
- Cockpit (Blackfriars) London,
- Coopers Arms (Kilburn) London,
- Corrib Rest (Queens Park) London
- Cos Bar, formerly The Goose at the Castle (Blackfriars) London,
- Counting House (Bank) London
- Cow Shed (Ladbroke Grove) London
- Crooked Billet (Leigh-on-Sea) Leigh On Sea
- Crosse Keys (Monument) London,
- Crown (Birmingham) Birmingham
- Crown and Greyhound (Dulwich) London
- Crown Hotel (Chertsey) Chertsey, Surrey,
- Cubana (Waterloo) London
- Devonshire Arms (Piccadilly) London
- Dickens Inn (Tower Hill) London
- Dickens Tavern (Paddington) London
- Digress (Oxford Circus) London,
- Dubliner (Stockholm) London
- Duke of Clarence (Hampton Hill) Hampton Hill, Middlesex,
- Duke of Sussex (Waterloo) London,
- Duke of Wellington (Portobello Road) Notting Hill
- Eagle (Ladbroke Grove) London,
- Earl of Lonsdale (Portobello Road) London,
- Elephant & Castle (Westbourne Park) London,
- Endurance (Soho) London,
- English Rose (Luton) Luton
- Exchange (Winchester) Winchester
- Fareham (in Fareham) Fareham
- Father Ted's (Kilburn) London,
- Fire Station (Waterloo) London
- First Post (Cosham) Cosham
- Fishers Pond (Eastleigh) Eastleigh
- Flying Eagle (Queensbury) Edgware, Middlesex,
- Founders Arms (Bankside) Blackfriars
- Four Chestnuts (Chichester) Chichester
- Fox (Small Dole Village) Small Dole
- Fox on the Hill (Denmark Hill) Camberwell,
- Fox on the Hill (Denmark Hill) Camberwell, London,
- Fulflood Arms (Winchester) Winchester
- Gallery (West Hampstead) London,
- George & Vulture (Bank) London,
- George (Euston) London
- George (Gt Portland Street) London
- George (Twickenham) Twickenham, Middlesex,
- George and Dragon (Houghton) Arundel
- Globe (Baker Street) London
- Globe (London Bridge) London,
- Golden Eagle (Marylebone) London
- Golden Egg (Kilburn) London,
- Grand Union (Westbourne Park) London
- Grand Victorian Hotel (Worthing) Worthing
- Grapes (Limehouse) Limehouse
- Green Man (Bank) London
- Greens Wine Bar (Embankment) London
- Griffin (Holborn) London
- Ground/First Floor Bar (Portobello Road) London
- Grouse and Claret - CLOSED London
- Gun (Coldharbour) London
- Gunmakers (Clerkenwell) Clerkenwell
- Hamilton Hall (Liverpool Street) London,
- Harp (Covent Garden) London
- Harrys Bar (Changi Airport T1, Singapore) #03-M021-53A Terminal 1, Singapore,
- Hatchet (Mansion House) London
- Heaven (Embankment) Westminster
- Henry J Beans (Chelsea) London
- Hermit's Cave (Camberwell) London,
- Hog in the Pound (Bond Street) London,
- Hole in the Wall (Waterloo) London,
- House on the Green (Kings Lynn) Kings Lynn, Norfolk,
- Hoxton Bar & Kitchen (Old Street) London
- Jamaica Wine House (Bank) London
- John Bull (Gunnersbury) Chiswick, London,
- John Keats (Moorgate) London,
- John Snow (Soho) London,
- Kings Arms (Southwark) London
- Kings Head (Mayfair) London,
- Knights Templar (Chancery Lane) London,
- Le Charles Quint (Brussels) London
- Liberty Bounds (Tower Hill) London
- Lock Stock & Barrel (Newbury) Newbury
- London Stone (Cannon Street) London,
- Long Room (Queens Park) London,
- Lord Moon of the Mall (Whitehall) London,
- Mabels Tavern (Euston) London
- March Hare (Winchester) Winchester
- Market Inn (Winchester), now William Walker Winchester
- Market Porter (London Bridge) London
- Market Porter (London) London
- Marquess of Anglesey (Covent Garden) London,
- Masons Arms (Teddington) Teddington, Middlesex,
- McGowans aka Ceili on the Green (Willesden) London,
- Metropolitan (Westbourne Park) London,
- Misty Moon (Twickenham) Twickenham, Middlesex,
- Mitre (Chancery Lane) Hatton Garden,
- Nags Head (Belgravia) London
- Nags Head (Islington) London,
- Neeld Arms (Maida Vale) London,
- New Moon (Leadenhall Market) London,
- North London Tavern (Kilburn) London,
- Number 8 (Willesden) London,
- O'Neill's (Euston) London,
- O'Neill's (Winchester) Winchester
- O'Neills (Earls Court) London,
- Old Dr Butlers Head (Moorgate) London,
- Old Gaolhouse (Winchester) Winchester
- Old Goat (Fulwell) Fulwell,
- Old Goat (Fulwell) Twickenham, Middlesex,
- Old Kings Head (Borough) London,
- Old Red Lion Theatre Pub (Islington) London,
- On Anon (Piccadilly) London
- Paradise (by way of Kensal Green) London,
- Penderel's Oak (Chancery Lane) London,
- Pepys Bar (Tower Hill) London
- Phoenix (Bank) London,
- Pillars of Hercules (Soho) London,
- Pitcher and Piano (Bishopsgate) London
- Plumbers Arms (Victoria) London
- Pontefract Castle (Marylebone) London
- Porterhouse (Covent Garden) London
- Porthouse (Winchester) Winchester
- Portobello Gold (Portobello Road) Notting Hill
- Potion (London)
- Pride of Paddington (Paddington) Bayswater
- Prince Albert (Twickenham) Twickenham, Middlesex,
- Prince Bonaparte (Westbourne Park) London,
- Prince of Wales (Kilburn) London,
- Profile (Soho) London,
- Pugs Bar (Barbados)
- Punch and Judy (Covent Garden) London
- Queen Mary (Embankment) London
- Queen's Head (nr Bray) Water Oakley, Berkshire,
- Railway (Cosham) Cosham
- Railway (West Hampstead) London,
- Red Cat Hotel (Kings Lynn) Kings Lynn, Norfolk,
- Red Lion (Monument) London,
- Reef Bar (Waterloo Station) York Road, London,
- Reef Bar (Waterloo) London
- Regent (Kensal Rise) London,
- Richmond Arms (Richmond) Richmond, Surrey,
- Rileys (Twickenham) Twickenham
- Rising Sun (Willesden) Willesden, London,
- Rocket (Euston) London
- Roebuck (Hampton Hill) Hampton Hill, Middlesex,
- Roebuck Inn (Winchester) Winchester
- Rose & Crown (Wimbledon Village) Wimbledon
- Rose and Crown (Southwark) London
- Round Table (Leicester Square) London,
- Royal Oak (Ham) Ham, London,
- Royal Oak (Lagness) Lagness, Chichesrer
- Rudi's Bar (Worthing) Worthing
- Ryans Bar (Blackfriars) London,
- Salusbury (Queens Park) London
- Sammy's (Teddington) Teddington, Middlesex,
- Samuel Pepys (Mayfair) London
- Sanctuary House (St James's) London
- Sawyers Arms (Paddington) Paddington
- Seven Stars (Chancery Lane) London,
- Shakespeare (Victoria) London
- Ship (Monument) London,
- Shire Horse (Hounslow) Hounslow
- Silver Buckle (Camberwell) London,
- Spanish Patriot, (Waterloo) (closed), now the Ruby Cock Lounge London
- Speaker (Westminster) London
- St Stephens (Westminster) Westminster
- St Stephens Tavern (Westminster) London,
- Stage Door (Victoria) London
- Star (Havant) Havant
- Sun & 13 Cantons (Soho) London
- Sutton Arms (Clerkenwell) London
- Sway Bar (Holborn) London
- Talbot (Belgravia) London
- Tattersall Castle (Embankment) Victoria Embankment, London
- Teddington Arms (Teddington) Teddington, Middlesex,
- The Green (Shepherds Bush) London
- The Green (Shepherds Bush) London
- The World's End (Brighton) Brighton
- Three Crowns (Piccadilly) London
- Tiger Tiger (Piccadilly) London
- Tottenham (Tottenham Court Road) London,
- Toucan (Soho) London,
- Turners Bar (Millennium Hotel, Mayfair) London
- TV news London
- Twelve Pins (Finsbury Park) London,
- Two Brewers (Chipperfield) Kings Langley, Hertfordshire,
- Uxbridge Arms (Notting Hill) London,
- Victoria (Hackney) London
- Walrus Social (Waterloo) London
- Warwick Castle (Clapham Junction) Clapham Junction
- Waterway (Warwick Avenue) London,
- Waxy O'Connors (Piccadilly) London,
- Wellington (Waterloo) London
- Wenlock (Hoxton) London
- West Meon (somewhere in Hants) Petersfield
- Wetherspoons (Victoria Station) Westminster
- White Hart (Liverpool Street) London
- White Horse (Soho) Soho
- White Lion (Apsley) Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire,
- William IV (Kensal Rise) London,
- Williamson's Tavern (St Paul's) London,
- Windsor Castle (Marylebone) London
- Windsor Castle (Notting Hill) London
- World Famous 3 Kings (West Ken) London
- World Famous 3 Kings (West Kensington) London,
- Worlds End (Camden) London
- Yard of Ale (Birmingham) Birmingham
- Ye Grapes (Mayfair) Mayfair London
- Ye Old Axe (Old Street) London,
- Ye Old London (St Pauls) London
- Ye Old London (St Pauls) London
- Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese (Fleet Street) London,
- Ye Olde Swiss (Swiss Cottage) London
- 101 Dalmations Waxy O'Connors (Piccadilly)
- Ace Face (Quadrophenia) Shire Horse (Hounslow)
- Alan Partridge (I'm Alan Partridge) Claddagh Ring (Hendon)
- Aleksandr Orlov (Compare the Meerkat) Market Inn (Winchester), now William Walker
- Alex (A Clockwork Orange) Seven Stars (Chancery Lane)
- Alonzo (Training Day) Two Brewers (Chipperfield)
- Amelie Poulain (Amelie) White Horse (Soho)
- Andy Defresne (The Shawshank Redemption) All Bar One (Docklands)
- Anthony Dawgs (Casino) Harrys Bar (Changi Airport T1, Singapore)
- Aragorn (Lord of the Rings) McGowans aka Ceili on the Green (Willesden)
- Ariel (The Little Mermaid) Tattersall Castle (Embankment)
- Arnold (Diff'rent Strokes) Round Table (Leicester Square)
- Avon Barksdale (The Wire) Prince Bonaparte (Westbourne Park)
- Babe (Babe - Pig in The City) Hog in the Pound (Bond Street)
- Bambi Roebuck Inn (Winchester)
- Bashful The Dwarf (Snow White) Sawyers Arms (Paddington)
- Basil Fawlty (Fawlty Towers) George (Twickenham)
- Bear Grylls Old Dr Butlers Head (Moorgate)
- Ben Sanderson (Leaving Las Vegas) Liberty Bounds (Tower Hill)
- Benjamin Braddock (The Graduate) Angel in the Fields (Marylebone)
- Bert & Ernie (Sesame Street) Abercorn Arms (Teddington)
- Betty Boop (Who Framed Roger Rabbit) Browns Bar (Westminster)
- Big Chris (Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels) Gun (Coldharbour)
- Bill the Butcher (Gangs of New York) Ground/First Floor Bar (Portobello Road)
- Billy Batts Goodfellas Griffin (Holborn)
- Blade Pillars of Hercules (Soho)
- Bo Bandit Darville (Smokey & The Bandit) Argyll (Oxford Circus)
- Bob Lee Swagger (The Shooter) Duke of Clarence (Hampton Hill)
- Bobby Robson (Italia 90) Twelve Pins (Finsbury Park)
- Bodie (The Professionals) Stage Door (Victoria)
- Bond - James Bond Salusbury (Queens Park)
- Borat (Cultural Learnings,...) Barmy Arms (Twickenham)
- Brian Flannagan (Cocktail) Rileys (Twickenham)
- Brian the Snail (Magic Roundabout) Cow Shed (Ladbroke Grove)
- Capt.Thaddeus Harris (Police Academy 365) Profile (Soho)
- Captain Blackadder (Blackadder Goes Forth) Roebuck (Hampton Hill)
- Captain Caveman Grand Victorian Hotel (Worthing)
- Captain Chaos (Cannon Ball Run II) Lord Moon of the Mall (Whitehall)
- Captain Kirk (Star Trek) Cock & Woolpack (Bank)
- Captain Koons (Pulp Fiction) Old Goat (Fulwell)
- Captain Quint (Jaws) Audley (Mayfair)
- Captain Willard (Apocalypse Now) Bishops Finger (Smithfields) and Blue Anchor (Hammersmith)
- Carlin (Scum) Crown and Greyhound (Dulwich)
- Carlito Brigante (Carlitos Way) Green Man (Bank)
- Champion the Wonder Horse Punch and Judy (Covent Garden)
- Chandler Jarrell (The Golden Child) Bootys Bar (Limehouse)
- Charlie Croker (The Italian Job) Silver Buckle (Camberwell)
- Charlton Heston (National Union of Drinkers) Knights Templar (Chancery Lane)
- Che Guevara (Motorcycle Diaries) Bar Sagres (Geneva)
- Chuck Noland (Castaway) Brewmaster (Leicester Square)
- Clubber Lang (Rocky III) Earl of Lonsdale (Portobello Road)
- Coal Sear (The Sixth Sense) Red Cat Hotel (Kings Lynn)
- Cole Trickle (Days of Thunder) Grapes (Limehouse)
- Colin Smith (The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner) Wenlock (Hoxton)
- Colonel George Taylor (Planet of the Apes) Bell (Cannon Street)
- Colonel Manfred von Holstein, Those Magnificent Men in their Flying Machines Butchers Hook and Cleaver (Smithfields)
- Columbo (Columbo) Teddington Arms (Teddington)
- Conan the Barbarian Sun & 13 Cantons (Soho)
- Connor McLeod (Highlander) Uxbridge Arms (Notting Hill)
- Count Von Count (Sesame Street) London Stone (Cannon Street)
- Curious George George and Dragon (Houghton)
- Dancing Priest (Father Ted) Phoenix (Bank)
- Danny 'tunnel king' Velinski (Great Escape) Greens Wine Bar (Embankment)
- David Brent (The Office) John Bull (Gunnersbury)
- David Hartnett (Revenue & Customs) Lock Stock & Barrel (Newbury)
- Del Trotter (Only Fools & Horses) Nags Head (Islington)
- Detective Lieutenant Frank Drebben (The Naked Gun) Pitcher and Piano (Bishopsgate)
- Detective Martin Prendergast (Falling Down) Wellington (Waterloo)
- Detective Nick Curran (Basic Instinct) Worlds End (Camden)
- Dizzy Flores (Starship Troopers) Fire Station (Waterloo)
- Dorothy Michaels (Tootsie) Dubliner (Stockholm)
- Doug Quaid (Total Recall) Globe (Baker Street)
- Dr Ian Malcolm (Jurassic Park) Fareham (in Fareham)
- Dr Kenneth Tinkle (Carry on Doctor) Potion (London)
- Dr Strangelove English Rose (Luton)
- Dr Zira (Planet of the Apes) Britannia (Monument)
- Dumbo Long Room (Queens Park)
- Ebenezer Scrooge (A Christmas Carol) Antelope (Belgravia)
- Elwood P Dowd (Harvey) O'Neills (Earls Court)
- Emory Leeson (Crazy People) Sanctuary House (St James's)
- Eric Cantona (Looking For Eric) Flying Eagle (Queensbury)
- Ernie McCracken (Kingpin) Ye Olde Swiss (Swiss Cottage)
- Ethan Hunt (Mission Impossible) Bayswater Arms (Bayswater)
- Father Ted Father Ted's (Kilburn)
- Forrest Gump Hoxton Bar & Kitchen (Old Street)
- Frances (Baby-Mildred) Houseman (Dirty Dancing) White Hart (Liverpool Street)
- Francois Truffaut Richmond Arms (Richmond)
- Frank Morris (Escape from Alcatraz) Elephant & Castle (Westbourne Park)
- Frank the Dog (Men in Black) White Lion (Apsley)
- Frodo Baggins (Lord of the Rings) Tiger Tiger (Piccadilly)
- Garfield (Garfield the Movie) Black Boy (Winchester)
- Garry Kasparov (Chess!) Fulflood Arms (Winchester)
- George W Bush (Dubya) Cubana (Waterloo)
- George Webber's vicar (10) Golden Eagle (Marylebone)
- Ghost of Xmas Present (Xmas Carol) First Post (Cosham)
- Ginger McKenna (Casino) Angel (Old Street)
- Gollum (Lord of the Rings) Crown Hotel (Chertsey)
- Gordon Gekko (Wall Street) Arbitrager (Bank)
- Grenouille (Perfume) Blackfriar (Blackfriars)
- Group Captain Lionel P Mandrake (Dr Strangelove) Old Red Lion Theatre Pub (Islington)
- Grumpy Dwarf (Snow White) Dickens Tavern (Paddington)
- Guy Goma (BBC News) Waterway (Warwick Avenue)
- Halloween Pumpkin Hole in the Wall (Waterloo)
- Hank Baileygates (Me, Myself & Irene) Angies III (Willesden)
- Harold Shand (The Long Good Friday) Fox on the Hill (Denmark Hill)
- Henry Cooper Coopers Arms (Kilburn)
- Henry Hill (Goodfellas) North London Tavern (Kilburn)
- Henry VIII (A Man for All Seasons) Boleyn Tavern (Upton Park)
- Her Majesty (The Queen) Warwick Castle (Clapham Junction)
- Herbie (The Love Bug) Yard of Ale (Birmingham)
- Hudson and Mrs Bridges (Upstairs Downstairs) Pontefract Castle (Marylebone)
- Hyacinth Bucket (Keeping Up Appearances) Misty Moon (Twickenham)
- Idi Amin (The Last King of Scotland) Crosse Keys (Monument)
- Incredible Hulk Ye Old Axe (Old Street)
- Inspector Gadget George (Euston)
- Invisible Man Duke of Wellington (Portobello Road)
- Jack Bauer (24) Chippenham (Maida Vale-ish)
- Jack Torrence (The Shining) Sway Bar (Holborn)
- Jay (Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back) Heaven (Embankment)
- Jim Bloggs (When the Wind Blows) Turners Bar (Millennium Hotel, Mayfair)
- Jim Hacker (Yes Prime Minister) St Stephens Tavern (Westminster)
- John Barnes (Mars Ads) Fox on the Hill (Denmark Hill)
- John Bender (The Breakfast Club) Rose & Crown (Wimbledon Village)
- John Keating (Dead Poets Society) Fishers Pond (Eastleigh)
- John Kreese (Karate Kid) aka Charlie Sheen. Prince Albert (Twickenham)
- John Winger (Stripes) Clachan (Soho)
- John \'Bluto\' Blutarsky (Animal House) Chinese Tower, Englischer Garten (Munich)
- Johnny Boy (Mean Streets) Neeld Arms (Maida Vale)
- Johnny Castle (Dirty Dancing) Rose and Crown (Southwark)
- Jose Manuel Barosso (European Union President) Le Charles Quint (Brussels)
- Josh's Band (Tit Mobile) O'Neill's (Winchester)
- Keyser Soze (The Usual Suspects) Anglers (Teddington)
- King Kong Grand Union (Westbourne Park)
- Kit de Luca (Pretty Woman) Ye Grapes (Mayfair)
- Kurt Sloan (Kickboxer) Sammy's (Teddington)
- Lalin (Carlitos Way) Regent (Kensal Rise)
- Lassie (Lassie Come Home) Star (Havant)
- Laszlo de Almasy (The English Patient) Ye Old London (St Pauls)
- Laszlo de Almasy (The English Patient) Ye Old London (St Pauls)
- Laurel and Hardy (Way Out West) Wetherspoons (Victoria Station)
- Lawrence Jamieson (Dirty Rotten Scoundrels) Eagle (Ladbroke Grove)
- Leonard (Memento) Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese (Fleet Street)
- Les Grossman (Tropic Thunder) Railway (West Hampstead)
- Lieutenant John McClane (Die Hard) Hatchet (Mansion House)
- Lionel Hutz (The Simpsons) Ship (Monument)
- Mahatma Gandhi (Gandhi) Chandos (Trafalgar Square)
- Malcolm Tucker (In the Loop) The World's End (Brighton)
- Manolo Ribera (Scarface) Pride of Paddington (Paddington)
- Mariner (Waterworld) Queen Mary (Embankment)
- Mark Renton (Trainspotting) Reef Bar (Waterloo)
- Marlon Borunki (The End) Harp (Covent Garden)
- Marty McFly (Back to the Future) Spanish Patriot, (Waterloo) (closed), now the Ruby Cock Lounge
- Mary Poppins Windsor Castle (Notting Hill)
- Maurice Kessler (Goodfellas) Talbot (Belgravia)
- Merry & Pippin (The Lord of the Rings) Old Kings Head (Borough)
- Michael (The Deer Hunter) Albion (Winchester)
- Michael Knight (Knight Rider) Globe (London Bridge)
- Michael Schumacher (Formula 1) Crown (Birmingham)
- Mick Dundee (Crocodile Dundee) Shakespeare (Victoria)
- Miss Moneypenny (Thunderball) Bank of England (Fleet Street)
- Miss Piggy (The Muppet Movie) On Anon (Piccadilly)
- Mole (Wind in the Willows) Corrib Rest (Queens Park)
- Montgomery Burns (The Simpsons) Red Lion (Monument)
- Mr Bean Cabbage Patch (Twickenham)
- Mr Blobby (Noel's House Party) Exchange (Winchester)
- Mr Brown (Mrs Brown) Windsor Castle (Marylebone)
- Mr Miyagi (Karate Kid) Royal Oak (Ham)
- Mr Pink (Resevoir Dogs) Rising Sun (Willesden)
- Mr Spoon (Button Moon) Penderel's Oak (Chancery Lane)
- Mrs Doubtfire Kings Head (Mayfair)
- Napoleon Dynamite Gallery (West Hampstead)
- Neal Page (Planes, Trains and Automobiles) George (Gt Portland Street)
- Neo (The Matrix) Walrus Social (Waterloo)
- Nick Nack (Man with the Golden Gun) Gunmakers (Clerkenwell)
- Nurse Mildred Ratched (One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest) All Bar One (Sutton)
- Obi Wan Kenobi (Star Wars) New Moon (Leadenhall Market)
- Oliver Twist Bishop on the Bridge (Winchester)
- Patrick Bateman (American Psycho) Digress (Oxford Circus)
- Paul Conroy (Buried) Market Porter (London)
- Paul Sheldon (Misery) Counting House (Bank)
- Peoples Hernandez (Shaft) Williamson's Tavern (St Paul's)
- Peter Marwood (Withnail and I) Kings Arms (Southwark)
- Phileas Fogg (Around the World in 80 Days) Pugs Bar (Barbados)
- Predator Porthouse (Winchester)
- Prince Akeem (Coming to America) Reef Bar (Waterloo Station)
- Professor Peach (The Italian Job) Hermit's Cave (Camberwell)
- R2D2 and C3PO (Star Wars) Three Crowns (Piccadilly)
- Randall Boggs (Monsters Inc) Pepys Bar (Tower Hill)
- Ratso Rico (Midnight Cowboy) Henry J Beans (Chelsea)
- Ratty (Wind in the Willows) Angelic (Angel)
- Ray Ferrier (War of the Worlds) Devonshire Arms (Piccadilly)
- Ray Kinsalla (Field of Dreams) Railway (Cosham)
- Rick Deckard (Blade Runner) Sutton Arms (Clerkenwell)
- Rick the Manager (Falling Down) Speaker (Westminster)
- Robert Langdon (The Da Vinci Code) Duke of Sussex (Waterloo)
- Robin Hood (Men in Tights) City Darts (Aldgate)
- Robocop Paradise (by way of Kensal Green)
- Rocky III Samuel Pepys (Mayfair)
- Roger Thornhill (North by Northwest) Mitre (Chancery Lane)
- Roland Rat (TV AM) Cockpit (Blackfriars)
- Ronnie Corbett (The Two Ronnies) O'Neill's (Euston)
- Rowley Birkin QC (The Fast Show) George & Vulture (Bank)
- Roy and Renee (The Fast Show) Adelaide (Teddington)
- Roy Batty (Blade Runner) Victoria (Hackney)
- Royce (Johnny English Reborn) Royal Oak (Lagness)
- Rudolp the Red-Nosed Reindeer Masons Arms (Teddington)
- Samwise Gamgee (Lord of the Rings) Rocket (Euston)
- Scorpio (Dirty Harry) Queen's Head (nr Bray)
- Sean Miller (Patriot Games) Ryans Bar (Blackfriars)
- Seth Brundle (The Fly) Blonde Beer Cafe (Winchester)
- Shelley The Machine Levene / Ole Gill (Glengarry Glen Ross) Jamaica Wine House (Bank)
- Shergar Prince of Wales (Kilburn)
- Sheriff Buford T Justice (Smokey & The Bandit) Tottenham (Tottenham Court Road)
- Shoeless Joe Jackson (Field of Dreams) Cos Bar, formerly The Goose at the Castle (Blackfriars)
- Simba (The Lion King) Blue Lion (Holborn)
- Snake Plissken (Escape from New York) Grouse and Claret - CLOSED
- Sonic The Hedgehog Hamilton Hall (Liverpool Street)
- Stephen Hawkings Number 8 (Willesden)
- Steptoe and Son Fox (Small Dole Village)
- Steve McCroskey (Airplane) Golden Egg (Kilburn)
- Super Mario Plumbers Arms (Victoria)
- Superman Mabels Tavern (Euston)
- T Rex (Jurassic Park) Cafe Iguana (Tobago)
- Tango & Cash John Snow (Soho)
- The Falling Down Crew (Falling Down The Pub) Toucan (Soho)
- The Fly (The Fly) Crooked Billet (Leigh-on-Sea)
- The Fonz (Happy Days) John Keats (Moorgate)
- The George (The Strand) TV news
- The Lieutenant (Bad Lieutenant) Endurance (Soho)
- The Littlest Hobo Porterhouse (Covent Garden)
- The Reverend Harry Powell (The Night of the Hunter) Founders Arms (Bankside)
- The Scarecrow (Wizard of Oz) Coach and Horses (Covent Garden)
- The Stig of the Dump Old Gaolhouse (Winchester)
- The Terminator (Terminator III) William IV (Kensal Rise)
- The Tin Man (Wizard of Oz) Marquess of Anglesey (Covent Garden)
- Three Breasted Hooker (Total Recall) The Green (Shepherds Bush)
- Three Breasted Hooker (Total Recall) The Green (Shepherds Bush)
- Three Musketeers West Meon (somewhere in Hants)
- Thumper (Bambi) March Hare (Winchester)
- Timothy Lumsden - 41 (Sorry) Beehive (Brixton)
- Tinkerbell (Peter Pan) Four Chestnuts (Chichester)
- Toad (Wind in the Willows) Blue Lion (Holborn)
- Tommy de Vito (Goodfellas) Metropolitan (Westbourne Park)
- Tony the little boy who lives in Danny's mouth (The Shining) Nags Head (Belgravia)
- Tony the Tiger (Return of the Killer Frosties) House on the Green (Kings Lynn)
- Tracey Samantha Lord (High Society) Portobello Gold (Portobello Road)
- Underground Ernie Rudi's Bar (Worthing)
- V (V for Vendetta) St Stephens (Westminster)
- Vincent Vega (Pulp Fiction) World Famous 3 Kings (West Ken)
- Vincent Vega (Pulp Fiction) World Famous 3 Kings (West Kensington)
- Wendell Sonny Lawson (The End) Coal Hole (Charing Cross)
- William D-Fens Foster (Falling Down) Market Porter (London Bridge)
- William Shakespeare (Shakespeare in Love) Dickens Inn (Tower Hill)
- William Windsor (a goat) Old Goat (Fulwell)
- Wilson the Ball (Castaway) Brewmaster (Leicester Square)
- All Bar One (Docklands)
- Pugs Bar (Barbados)
- Potion (London)
- London Tiger Tiger (Piccadilly)
- #03-M021-53A Terminal 1, Singapore, Harrys Bar (Changi Airport T1, Singapore)
- Arundel George and Dragon (Houghton)
- Bayswater Pride of Paddington (Paddington)
- Bayswater, London Bayswater Arms (Bayswater)
- Birmingham Crown (Birmingham)
- Birmingham Yard of Ale (Birmingham)
- Blackfriars Founders Arms (Bankside)
- Brighton The World's End (Brighton)
- Camberwell, Fox on the Hill (Denmark Hill)
- Camberwell, London, Fox on the Hill (Denmark Hill)
- Chertsey, Surrey, Crown Hotel (Chertsey)
- Chichester Four Chestnuts (Chichester)
- Chiswick, London, John Bull (Gunnersbury)
- Clapham Junction Warwick Castle (Clapham Junction)
- Clerkenwell Gunmakers (Clerkenwell)
- Cosham First Post (Cosham)
- Cosham Railway (Cosham)
- Eastleigh Fishers Pond (Eastleigh)
- Edgware, Middlesex, Flying Eagle (Queensbury)
- Fareham Fareham (in Fareham)
- Fulwell, Old Goat (Fulwell)
- Geneva Bar Sagres (Geneva)
- Ham, London, Royal Oak (Ham)
- Hampton Hill, Middlesex, Duke of Clarence (Hampton Hill)
- Hampton Hill, Middlesex, Roebuck (Hampton Hill)
- Hatton Garden, Mitre (Chancery Lane)
- Havant Star (Havant)
- Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire, White Lion (Apsley)
- Hounslow Shire Horse (Hounslow)
- Islington Angelic (Angel)
- Kings Langley, Hertfordshire, Two Brewers (Chipperfield)
- Kings Lynn, Norfolk, Red Cat Hotel (Kings Lynn)
- Kings Lynn, Norfolk, House on the Green (Kings Lynn)
- Lagness, Chichesrer Royal Oak (Lagness)
- Leigh On Sea Crooked Billet (Leigh-on-Sea)
- Limehouse Grapes (Limehouse)
- London World Famous 3 Kings (West Ken)
- London Market Porter (London)
- London Devonshire Arms (Piccadilly)
- London Coach and Horses (Covent Garden)
- London Audley (Mayfair)
- London Cubana (Waterloo)
- London Walrus Social (Waterloo)
- London Samuel Pepys (Mayfair)
- London Pepys Bar (Tower Hill)
- London White Hart (Liverpool Street)
- London Stage Door (Victoria)
- London Turners Bar (Millennium Hotel, Mayfair)
- London Cock & Woolpack (Bank)
- London The Green (Shepherds Bush)
- London Ground/First Floor Bar (Portobello Road)
- London Le Charles Quint (Brussels)
- London Spanish Patriot, (Waterloo) (closed), now the Ruby Cock Lounge
- London Market Porter (London Bridge)
- London Victoria (Hackney)
- London Ye Old London (St Pauls)
- London Cow Shed (Ladbroke Grove)
- London Dickens Inn (Tower Hill)
- London Dubliner (Stockholm)
- London Gun (Coldharbour)
- London Chinese Tower, Englischer Garten (Munich)
- London TV news
- London Pontefract Castle (Marylebone)
- London Sutton Arms (Clerkenwell)
- London Henry J Beans (Chelsea)
- London The Green (Shepherds Bush)
- London Plumbers Arms (Victoria)
- London Greens Wine Bar (Embankment)
- London Hatchet (Mansion House)
- London Punch and Judy (Covent Garden)
- London Porterhouse (Covent Garden)
- London Speaker (Westminster)
- London Liberty Bounds (Tower Hill)
- London Coal Hole (Charing Cross)
- London Bank of England (Fleet Street)
- London Blackfriar (Blackfriars)
- London Corrib Rest (Queens Park)
- London Jamaica Wine House (Bank)
- London Grand Union (Westbourne Park)
- London Hoxton Bar & Kitchen (Old Street)
- London Queen Mary (Embankment)
- London Windsor Castle (Notting Hill)
- London Reef Bar (Waterloo)
- London Green Man (Bank)
- London Bootys Bar (Limehouse)
- London Wellington (Waterloo)
- London Harp (Covent Garden)
- London Angel in the Fields (Marylebone)
- London Nags Head (Belgravia)
- London Golden Eagle (Marylebone)
- London Windsor Castle (Marylebone)
- London Talbot (Belgravia)
- London Sway Bar (Holborn)
- London Wenlock (Hoxton)
- London Ye Olde Swiss (Swiss Cottage)
- London Butchers Hook and Cleaver (Smithfields)
- London Bishops Finger (Smithfields) and Blue Anchor (Hammersmith)
- London Griffin (Holborn)
- London Sanctuary House (St James's)
- London Rose and Crown (Southwark)
- London Fire Station (Waterloo)
- London Kings Arms (Southwark)
- London Shakespeare (Victoria)
- London George (Euston)
- London Sun & 13 Cantons (Soho)
- London Arbitrager (Bank)
- London Salusbury (Queens Park)
- London Blue Lion (Holborn)
- London Angel (Old Street)
- London Crown and Greyhound (Dulwich)
- London Pitcher and Piano (Bishopsgate)
- London Dickens Tavern (Paddington)
- London Mabels Tavern (Euston)
- London On Anon (Piccadilly)
- London Worlds End (Camden)
- London Ye Old London (St Pauls)
- London Rocket (Euston)
- London Globe (Baker Street)
- London Counting House (Bank)
- London Three Crowns (Piccadilly)
- London Grouse and Claret - CLOSED
- London George (Gt Portland Street)
- London Blue Lion (Holborn)
- London, North London Tavern (Kilburn)
- London, Number 8 (Willesden)
- London, John Snow (Soho)
- London, Hamilton Hall (Liverpool Street)
- London, Prince Bonaparte (Westbourne Park)
- London, Cockpit (Blackfriars)
- London, O'Neills (Earls Court)
- London, Antelope (Belgravia)
- London, Father Ted's (Kilburn)
- London, Hog in the Pound (Bond Street)
- London, Waterway (Warwick Avenue)
- London, Knights Templar (Chancery Lane)
- London, City Darts (Aldgate)
- London, World Famous 3 Kings (West Kensington)
- London, Ye Old Axe (Old Street)
- London, Cos Bar, formerly The Goose at the Castle (Blackfriars)
- London, Boleyn Tavern (Upton Park)
- London, Old Dr Butlers Head (Moorgate)
- London, Golden Egg (Kilburn)
- London, Gallery (West Hampstead)
- London, Phoenix (Bank)
- London, Penderel's Oak (Chancery Lane)
- London, Lord Moon of the Mall (Whitehall)
- London, London Stone (Cannon Street)
- London, Nags Head (Islington)
- London, Hole in the Wall (Waterloo)
- London, Paradise (by way of Kensal Green)
- London, Ryans Bar (Blackfriars)
- London, Brewmaster (Leicester Square)
- London, O'Neill's (Euston)
- London, Brewmaster (Leicester Square)
- London, St Stephens Tavern (Westminster)
- London, George & Vulture (Bank)
- London, Beehive (Brixton)
- London, Claddagh Ring (Hendon)
- London, Kings Head (Mayfair)
- London, Neeld Arms (Maida Vale)
- London, Uxbridge Arms (Notting Hill)
- London, New Moon (Leadenhall Market)
- London, Old Red Lion Theatre Pub (Islington)
- London, Waxy O'Connors (Piccadilly)
- London, Old Kings Head (Borough)
- London, Round Table (Leicester Square)
- London, Britannia (Monument)
- London, Seven Stars (Chancery Lane)
- London, Pillars of Hercules (Soho)
- London, Red Lion (Monument)
- London, Globe (London Bridge)
- London, Eagle (Ladbroke Grove)
- London, Marquess of Anglesey (Covent Garden)
- London, Metropolitan (Westbourne Park)
- London, Regent (Kensal Rise)
- London, William IV (Kensal Rise)
- London, Crosse Keys (Monument)
- London, Prince of Wales (Kilburn)
- London, Hermit's Cave (Camberwell)
- London, Chippenham (Maida Vale-ish)
- London, Chandos (Trafalgar Square)
- London, Toucan (Soho)
- London, Bell (Cannon Street)
- London, Coopers Arms (Kilburn)
- London, Earl of Lonsdale (Portobello Road)
- London, Elephant & Castle (Westbourne Park)
- London, Endurance (Soho)
- London, Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese (Fleet Street)
- London, Profile (Soho)
- London, John Keats (Moorgate)
- London, McGowans aka Ceili on the Green (Willesden)
- London, Digress (Oxford Circus)
- London, Railway (West Hampstead)
- London, Clachan (Soho)
- London, Silver Buckle (Camberwell)
- London, Twelve Pins (Finsbury Park)
- London, Long Room (Queens Park)
- London, Argyll (Oxford Circus)
- London, Ship (Monument)
- London, Duke of Sussex (Waterloo)
- London, Tottenham (Tottenham Court Road)
- London, Williamson's Tavern (St Paul's)
- Luton English Rose (Luton)
- Mayfair London Ye Grapes (Mayfair)
- Newbury Lock Stock & Barrel (Newbury)
- Notting Hill Portobello Gold (Portobello Road)
- Notting Hill Duke of Wellington (Portobello Road)
- Paddington Sawyers Arms (Paddington)
- Petersfield West Meon (somewhere in Hants)
- Richmond, Surrey, Richmond Arms (Richmond)
- Small Dole Fox (Small Dole Village)
- Soho White Horse (Soho)
- Store Bay Cafe Iguana (Tobago)
- Sutton, Surrey All Bar One (Sutton)
- Teddington, Middlesex, Masons Arms (Teddington)
- Teddington, Middlesex, Adelaide (Teddington)
- Teddington, Middlesex, Sammy's (Teddington)
- Teddington, Middlesex, Anglers (Teddington)
- Teddington, Middlesex, Abercorn Arms (Teddington)
- Teddington, Middlesex, Teddington Arms (Teddington)
- Twickenham Rileys (Twickenham)
- Twickenham, Middlesex, Misty Moon (Twickenham)
- Twickenham, Middlesex, Cabbage Patch (Twickenham)
- Twickenham, Middlesex, George (Twickenham)
- Twickenham, Middlesex, Barmy Arms (Twickenham)
- Twickenham, Middlesex, Old Goat (Fulwell)
- Twickenham, Middlesex, Prince Albert (Twickenham)
- Victoria Embankment, London Tattersall Castle (Embankment)
- Water Oakley, Berkshire, Queen's Head (nr Bray)
- Westminster Browns Bar (Westminster)
- Westminster St Stephens (Westminster)
- Westminster Heaven (Embankment)
- Westminster Wetherspoons (Victoria Station)
- Willesden, London, Angies III (Willesden)
- Willesden, London, Rising Sun (Willesden)
- Wimbledon Rose & Crown (Wimbledon Village)
- Winchester Exchange (Winchester)
- Winchester Porthouse (Winchester)
- Winchester Bishop on the Bridge (Winchester)
- Winchester Market Inn (Winchester), now William Walker
- Winchester Black Boy (Winchester)
- Winchester Blonde Beer Cafe (Winchester)
- Winchester O'Neill's (Winchester)
- Winchester Roebuck Inn (Winchester)
- Winchester Fulflood Arms (Winchester)
- Winchester March Hare (Winchester)
- Winchester Albion (Winchester)
- Winchester Old Gaolhouse (Winchester)
- Worthing Rudi's Bar (Worthing)
- Worthing Grand Victorian Hotel (Worthing)
- York Road, London, Reef Bar (Waterloo Station)
Falling down the blog
The Bridge Bar and Eating House, Terminal 3, Heathrow Airport
A dangerous port in a storm for a traveler, going somewhere he doesn’t want to go with five hours to kill. God bless the airport boozer – fuck the woeful High Grant’s philosophizing about finding the ‘essence of true love’ … Continue reading
Map
Stoney Street
London
SE1 9AA