George (Euston)

Inspector Gadget

*Hic* I love London. What was it, the guy called it? Pub Crawl, yeah that was it. I’m on one of them, I mean, I’m doing one of them,.I’m,..Ah,..I’m,..Ah, here it is, The George.

“Go Go Gadget A to Z!” *A to Z retracts back into his jacket*

Ah, I like the look of this, big TV (again), nice high stools (again),..Ha,..Hang on,…This is the same place! Oh screw it, I’m here now,.I’ll have another pint.

Barman: “Oh, for God’s sake, no not you again!”

Gadget: “Wha? Another Fosters please, me ole mate,..Me ole *Hic* mucker,..Me china”

Barman: “Well ok, but be a bit quieter this time, and no more showing off!”

Gadget: “Ok, no problem,..You can trust me mate,……Trust me,..erm,..mucker,…How much is that again?”

Barman: “Two pounds eighty,..Same as the last five pints.”

Gadget: “Of course it is *Hic*,..Of course it is,…Just lemme get the ole wallet… Go go gadget arm! *Bzzzz*,..*Shoots out and smashes into another punter’s drink*. Oooops sorry mate,…erm,..mucker. Let me buy you another one, what was it?.. ……Ok”

“And another bottle of that Magner’s muck for that guy over there, please barkeep. …Sorry pal”

“Has anyone got any WD40?”

Barman: “Remember what I said about showing off!”

Gadget: “Go Go Gadget middle finger” *Gives the thumbs-up sign instead*

Barman: “I’m warning you mate!”

Gadget: “Ok, Ok,..I’m,..Sor,..Sorry. *Creasing up, pointing* Look at that little fella with the hairy feet!”

Barman: “Leave him alone, he’s a paying customer!”

Gadget: “Sorry, *Creases up again*. Go Go Gadget pat on the back *Boxing glove pops out and smashes the barman in the mouth*.

“Ooops, Go Go Gadget apology note…..*Pats his pockets*,..”Sorry chum,..Don’t have that feature!” *Laughing to himself as he sits down and sparks a cigar*

Barman: *Holding his mouth* “And it’s no smoking you idiot!”

Gadget: “Go Go Gadget lips,..*His lips stretch and shoot out the window* “No problem chum!” *Chuckling as he exhales*

Barman *Recovering from blow.* “And no hats either,.I told you that before!”

Gadget: “Go Go Gadget hat!.” *Boing*,….*Flies off his head into the Barman’s face.*

Gadget: *Shaking his head ruefully.* “Goes right through you, this Fosters stuff, don’t it,….Go Go Gadget cock!”

Barman: “Oi mate! Stop that!…That’s it, I’m phoning the police!”

Gadget: “To tell em what exactly? Some robot is brandishing a leaking hose!”

*Addresses barman as his hose unreels and snakes its way to the toilets*

“One thing pal; if you Limeys didn’t insist on smashing up your own restrooms, maybe I would actually walk into em. I mean, I know, *Hic* you wanna stop people taking that cokey-nose-candy stuff, but what’s the deal here? You destroy,..roy *Hic* your own toilets! And by you, I mean you owners *pointing at the Barman*, not customers! Seems like attacking the problem from the wrong angle if you ask me,………ask me!”

“I mean, *making a sweeping gesture with his arm, to involve the whole pub* you take the locks off the doors, remove the toilet seat lid, and then the seat itself! Gimme a break!”

“And you,..You can f,…”

*Thinking about it a little bit*

“Yeah,….yeah,.. To be fair, I’ve seen this in other boozers in London too, but what I haven’t seen (And I’ve gotta commend you fo fo for this,…Gotta commend ya,…Must), is your, obviously unique,.*Hic*….Unique technique, of finishing it off, by removing all the light bulbs in there!”

“Not everyone’s got radar guidance like me Pal *shutting his eyes as he relieves himself*..Aaah,..That’s better!”

* The hose snakes its way back to his groin, leaving a wet trail. *

“Gentleman, I salute you. If I still had my hat on, I’d doff it!”

“Now get f...f....f.... oh and leave me in peace! Go Go Gadget hand,..*Bzzzzzz*,..Talk to that!”

*Barman whispering to other barman.* “I don’t know how the hell he’s gotta niece/daughter (being a robot n all), but whatever, I’ll distract him whilst you nick his mobile and get her number. Get her on the blower. Looks like we need an eight year old girl, to sort this one out.”

Inspector Gadget’s rating for The George – 5 / 10

Rolosocosy

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