Reef Bar (Waterloo Station)

Prince Akeem (Coming to America)

Merry New Year to you sir!

Err yes, Happy Christmas to you too mate. Fosters please.

Certainly,…….and how are you this fine Christmas Evening sir?

Good thanks mate, I could do without all these bloody delays though,..and you?

Splendid sir splendid. I am happy to be gainfully employed on this most special of days. And this morning I wiped my own backside.

You wiped your arse?

Yes, certainly sir. And a most liberating experience it was I can tell you. It was my first time. Fantastic,..I love this country.

Ha! You're in the minority there mate, but fair play to you, there can't be many people that would be so cheerful about wiping their own backside and about having to work in Waterloo Station on Christmas Eve.

Why not sir? I am in charge of my own hygiene and I get to serve people their drinks and watch them have a good time. I like watching people enjoy themselves.

Each to his own pal. But I doubt you'll find many people enjoying themselves in here. How much is that?

It will be £3.20 my friend. Shall I charge it to your account?

My account?! No mate,…it is not normal to have an account in a boozer,.....i'll pay cash, here you go.

Thank you. Can I ask you sir, did you happen to catch the professional football contest on television last night?

No, I didn't.

Oh sir, the Wanderers from Wolverhampton took on a United Newcastle. And in the end, the United triumphed by kicking a ball made of pigskin through a big rectangle. It was a most ripping victory, although not without incident. At one point in the contest there were several 'handbags' thrown and in the end, the umpire ended up putting several of the players on report.

Word of advice pal. If you wanna keep this job into the 'Merry' New Year, stay off the drugs……...I'm going to stand over there.

Akeem's rating for the Reef Bar - 10 / 10

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