Corrib Rest (Queens Park)

Mole (Wind in the Willows)

"Oh Badger, he really is the absolute limit isn’t he!? Why does it always have to end up like this? I only wanted to come out for a couple of quiet pints and once again Toad has ruined everything!"

"Now now Moley, don’t fret. Toad is his own toad, we are neither his guardians nor his keepers. If he wants to make a fool of himself and squander all his money, then who are we to stop him?"

"Oh Badger, I know. I truly know it myself, but I do feel somewhat responsible. After all, wasn’t it me who first introduced Toad to pool?"

"Moley, you must not blame yourself. A toad like Toad, was always going to discover pub culture at some point. If it wasn’t you, it would have been someone else. Ratty for instance. Where is he tonight by the way?"

"He’s gone back to Barnsley to visit that gerbil he’s been seeing. Can’t say as I blame him really, I mean Badger, my eyesight isn’t the best, as we know, but even I could tell that she was a real corker,  the way she worked that wheel! Tremendous..."

"Hmmmmm, yes I agree Mole, she certainly did have some form, that seductive nibble of hers,…*They both drift off for a moment*. But, yes, like I said, Toad’s behaviour is none of our business really, absolutely not our affair, would you care for another ale."

"Oh, thank you Badger yes, my nerves are absolutely shot, can I have the same again please, this time I might move up to a half."

"A half of John Smiths?"

"No, half of Badgers, Badger. Oh Badger, do you fancy poking your snout into the small bar, just to check that Toad is alright?"

"Mole, I told you, relax. If Toad wants to lose all his money to those Weasels, then it’s his look out."

"You’re right Badger, of course, as always."

*Badger returns with the booze,.just as Toad steams through*

B - "Oh god, here he comes now!"

T - "Moley! Badger! The best news! I’ve four, no,… five, new hobbies!  Whahey!!!!!!"

B - "Here we go!"

T - "Fruit boxes! Oh they’re brilliant. “Do you have any loose change?” Salsa dancing (upstairs), *grinding his hips* Woo Hoo! Pool, “Don’t tuck me up you tosser!” Swearing! “You despicable F***wads!

,...And, best of all - Watching football! “On me (slimey) head son! Forget the rugger!

,.....Come on lads, bugger the big bar. There are more TV’s next door. Lets get really leathered and challenge that obese Weasel to a game of killer! Check out the snugs in the small bar, if need be Mole....*under his breath*,... Pussy!"

"Whahey!! The drinks are on The Toad!" *Steams back into the small bar, shouting his mouth off*

M - "Oh Badger, what is he like!?"

B - He’s a f*****g animal!

Moley’s rating for The Corrib Rest – 9 / 10

Rolosocosy

Ratty's reviewing too - The Angelic Angel

Toad's learnt a few tricks too - swearing, boozing, footy, fruities etc

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