Cubana (Waterloo)

George W Bush (Dubya)

You misunderestimate me son. Like many that have come to this bar before you, and many that will come be-after. Misunderestimated! I been to plenty of places in Europe.

Rack ‘em up Fidel!

Two Duck-Harries please, one for me and one for my young buddy here.

Yes sir, Europe and me are ol’ friends. I been to all the major countries. Turkey….eye-ran…..and eye-tally.

I drew the line at France though. Wouldn’t catch me in that countree a yella-bellied red bastards. No siree. Those commie sons a bitches don’t even have a word for entrepreneur!

Nothin’ scares me about a Cuban bar in London though. We got a special relationship with you Brits and I been smokin’ Castro’s boys finest for years – on the QT of course. When I read that this place only serves Freedom Food, I thought, hey a triple whammy of good news for me. And the Lord!

And let me tell you a little something else son; Cubana cocktails….. Pheweeee! Hotter than Texas. Four reasons to come here!

* Dubya's drink arrives *

Ahh, strawberry Duck Harry. See that son. That’s clearly a strawberry duckharry; it’s got a lot of strawberries in it.

Ha ha ha

Anyway, where was I. Yeah, those Frenchies. I took decisive action when they spurned our righteous crusade.

Re-named those potato chips freedom fries! Pow! That's called a lesson in democracy son; same as I gave those insurgents in Eye-rack with their WMDs and oil.

Did you know France has newkewlar weapons? Think about those facts for a second.

Cause I just want you to know son, that when we talk about war, we’re really talking about peace! And I’m at peace with the Lord. Amen to that.

Our enemies may be innovative and resourceful, but so are we. They never stop thinking about ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we. That’s why I believe lessons are so important. And yet rarely is the question asked; is our children learning….. 

Hey…where you going son….rambling?….fool?....why you son of a bitch….I was prime president of the United……Jesus..

* turns to face bartender *

….Buddy, did you say I couldn't bring my dog in here? …. I can? Well that's just swell. Couldn’t mix us a couple of surprise specials while I go get him?

* walks over to door *

Yo Blair! C’mon in. I’ve lined us up a pair of specials ya big poodle son of a gun.

* turns back to barman * 

So what you call these special cocktails Fidel?

Oh yeah, I like it.

There's one’s for you Tony; it's called a Bloody on your hands Mary.

Mine? A Corpse on the Rocks.

Ha ha ha ha. Mission accomplished! God Bless America.

George W Bush’s rating for Cubana – 9 / 10

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