Claddagh Ring (Hendon)

Alan Partridge (I'm Alan Partridge)

The time is 54 minutes past the five and you're listening to 'Up with the Partridge' Ah ha! I'm Alan Partridge. Thank you.

,…...And today is, of course, Saint Patrick's Day. A day when degenerate drunks all around the globe have an excuse to be holier than thou about dangerous drinking!  'To be sure' it is, 'begorrah' and all that. God bless us all! Hahaha!

Ahhhhhhh, the Irish people! A great bunch of lads I've always thought..... If you've just tuned in, this morning we have been talking about 'Irishness',..and what it means to us. Just what exactly is 'Irishness'? We've been asking.

Well, we've had some excellent discussions, and in the course of the morning it's become apparent that 'Irishness' means different things to different people. Although, despite this, we have traced several universal themes:

Bob, a pest control operative, from Swaffam, mentionned that he always has a pint of Caffrey's on this day of the year. Well why not Bob! Cheers to you. Or should I say 'Slaughter?!' Haha!

Similarly, middle-aged house-wife, Irene from Hunstanton, said that she is gonna treat herself to some of 'the Blackstuff' after work. Ooooooooh, go,...i mean,.. come on Irene. You know what they say about 'once you've had black!!'

Guinness, 'to be sure' was a recurring theme in our 'chat-athon',...along with Caravan's, women with eye-brows on their cheeks, badly Tarmac'ed driveways (over here) and, of course, Brad Pitt in Snatch. Hahaha! What was that accent all about? Incomprehensible.

Hahaha! What are they like. Oooooooooh, the Irish,...

Also,..Colin Farrell.

Christ!

Maureen, from Gayton, called in whilst driving to work at the DFS call centre in Timberly. Maureen was using her 'Hands free' adaptor, I might add, for the benefit of any constabulary that we may have listening in!! Maureen said that she was stuck at some roadworks, but that she didn't mind, because it was St Patrick's day, and because she was wearing a funny leprechaun hat at the wheel of the Xantia,…...and that made everything ok!! Aaaaah! Haha! I bet it did Maureen.

So,….Irishness, we concluded, was indeed different things to different people. However, we also discovered that in some ways, there is a little bit of 'Irish' in all of us.

,……...I've Irish roots myself. Oh yes, I've kissed the Blarney stone 'for sure' as the Irish would say.

And yes, I'm a fan of 'Da craic' alright, having a little bit of the Celtic in my, essentially Anglo, blood. I'm part Irish on my fathers side you see. His father - my grandfather, once owned a red setter called 'Michael'. 'Mick', he used to call him.

Great dog I'm told. A great dog. Wonderful ratter. Haha!

So, 'Cheers!' to all my 'Ooirish' listeners on this special day. Or, as they say in Ireland 'Cheers ya fecking English gobshites yer!' Hahahaha! ……

...And now, yes, as we approach the hour of six, yes, I can see 'your man' himself; Dave Clifton, slipping into the hot-seat opposite me. It's 5.59 in the a.m........I'm Alan Partridge. Top of the morning Dave!

Morning Alan! Oh, yes, 'Top of it,..' as well.

Dave, will you be doing anything special for St Patricks day today. Do you have any Irish in you?

Morning again Alan. Yes, I shall perchance be partaking of a few Guinnesses later on, I would imagine. I've got a guest DJ slot at a pub down in London's Hendon. Yes, the Claddagh Ring it is called. Where, I'm told, 'da craic', is always 'mighty!' Hahaha! I am sure that it will be 'fierce' later on tonight.,...But, to answer your other question; no, haha, no, I've not any Irish in me unfortunately,..at least not that I am aware of! Hahahahaha!

Oh, come now Dave. Come now. Do not do yourself a dis-service concerning your Irishness. You have some Irish in you don't you?! Most mornings you have a little Irish in you, I'm sure!? Jameisons whisky isn't it?,………

Err, very funny Alan…errr,…haha….thanks Alan..it's 6.01 in the morning..and you're listening to Drive Time with Dave Clifton.....let's kick off the show with an old classic from Keith Sweat,………….

Alan's rating for the Claddagh Ring - 9/10

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