Sutton Arms (Clerkenwell)

Rick Deckard (Blade Runner)

Rachel was different, like hell. She dumped me three weeks after we left the city, reckoned she was more human than I was. I let my ex-wife get away with this ‘cold fish’ crap but Rachel was dynamite in the sack and I wasn’t going to give that up without a fight. She was obsessed with her phoney pictures and that was my starting point after she did her disappearing act. So here I am in this time warp boozer, just like the one her ‘dad’ ran when she was a 'little girl', all sticky carpet, brown wallpaper and decrepit barman. He’d be offworld but he’s got Methusalah syndrome, see so many of these guys nowadays in these backstreet joints. Back in history books, this was the sort of pub that would have a guaranteed lock in. Slim chance she’ll be in here, but the Becks is a decent pint.


I’ve suddenly woken up, how many have I had? I was dreaming of Rachel playing the piano, my heart is going like a trip hammer, but it's only the Happy Mondays on the jukebox. In front of me on the table is a small origami figure of a man on his knees like he's being sick. Where the hell had that come from? I lurch to the bar. ‘Still waiting for the ex trouble and strife?’ says the barman. The gibberish he talks is cockney streetslang, I understood it, any good cop would, but I just point at the pump and put up my twisted trigger finger. I didn’t know how long till closing time, but, then again, who does?

Deckard’s rating for The Sutton Arms – 5/10

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• Natural Selection,..

  “,….. Why didn’t they live to be 100?Huh? Well, they woz running round all day, hunting mammoths, eating berries,..rumping their little hearts out. No boozing or smoking. They must have been fit as fiddles. Yer Neanderthalls……….I’ll tell you why, it’s … Continue reading →