Mabels Tavern (Euston)

Superman

I feel like a single mum. Not in that sense no! I mean, I feel like I am a single mum. I empathise.

Trying to juggle a busy work and home life is an absolute nightmare when you’re a superhero. Never knowing when I will be called upon to save the world has really affected my career as an aspiring journalist. I guess it’s just something I have to work through myself, but as a beginning, I’ve flown over to London to make a fresh start, at least for this afternoon.

And it’s the same old crap.

I registered with Blue Arrow and was just doing my typing test at Manpower on Oxford Street, when, as always, something came up! A load of moose were running amok down the main street! Don’t ask me how or why, but yep, it was muggins here who was left to herd them back to the truck.

Moose crap all over my cape, I was in no state to go back to the agency, so I headed down some side streets to clean myself up. I wandered for a bit, I guess it was in the direction of Kings Cross, cos soon enough, I heard a bit of a rumpus from inside a pub called Mabel’s Tavern.

“Ere we go again,” I thought, and steamed in, “All guns blazing” so to speak.

Well, bless my soul, there was no trouble at all, no one even noticed that I had steamed in. There was some kind of soccer game on the television, and the capacity crowd were yelling their support.

“Ah, I like this”, I thought, as I slipped my bins back on. Perfect for remaining anonymous. Everyone facing in one direction, left it easy for me to get a nice beer and stand at the back.

So I went to the bar to order a pint.

Now, I don’t know which one Mabel is, but I tell ya, the strangest thing. All the barmaids were real overweight beauties. Like supermodels that have been force fed foie-gras. I didn’t check the bar menu (I’m a fussy eater), but maybe it was down to that,..Food as one of the perks of the job.

Speaking of perks of the job, just when I’m starting to think that maybe I do actually “feel like a single mum”, my damn spidey sense kicks in again,..

Erm no,..I mean my doggy sense,..No, my X-Ray vision (that’s it), my X-Ray vision kicks in, and shows me some aggro due south, *focus*. Yes, due south, near Leicester Square, there’s,…there’s a hobo,..a bearded hobo, pummeling a soccer ball into a crowd of US tourists queuing outside a theatre!

“Oh geez,” I thought, I don’t fly half way round the world, of an afternoon, just to save another bunch of those ungrateful spongers.

But, I’ve a conscience you see. And I’m a patriot at heart. I had to go.

“Ladies,” I said, “I’ve gotta fly”.

*I dunno why I even bother with these snappy one-liners. They were too busy snaffling around for bar treats to notice.*

So I peeled off my anorak, dropped the umbrella and took flight toward Tottenham Court Road in full view. None of em were any the wiser.

Sometimes, I feel so unappreciated.

Superman's rating for Mabel’s Tavern  - 7 / 10

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