Rising Sun (Willesden)

Mr Pink (Resevoir Dogs)

Listen,.....

,.......I feel very sorry for people like you. People who's wives or girlfriends won't let them out, who's free time is totally regulated by a seemingly endless trail of urgent and yet pointless tasks,.. that's f*cked up. But, that ain't my fault.....

It would seem to me that husbands, long term boyfriends and especially new born fathers are one of the groups that get routinely f*cked in the ass on a regular basis. If you're asking me to sign something that says that you're due a few nights out every week, hey, I'll sign it. Put it to a vote, I'll vote for it. Whack it down in an e-mail to your wife, I'll Yahoo it. But what I won't do, is get sucked in to that whole f*cking going-home-merry-go-round myself. No way,..

….have you time for one more pint?

No, you need to wash some dishes?

….and as for this sense of responsibility bullsh*t, I got two words for you: Personal Time,..and I ain't talking about no networking website neither...

,..I am talking about the need a man has to spend time in the Pub, drinking, shootin' pool, watchin' soccer,..whatever. I am talking about how you've foregone this now, so pipe down. I am talking about not doing the crime if you can't do the time. You're a man with off-spring now, you've responsibilities buddy. You're now a provider, a confidante, a multi-tasking-busy-body motherf*cker. If you've gotta go, you've gotta go. Then go,…but I thought that this was supposed to be the best of 3,..?

So you still have to go home NOW do you? Immediately? This minute I mean? Well haw de f*cking haw. Yeah, you got my sympathy buddy for sure, but make no mistake - YOU are stuck in a situation that YOU created. I didn't create your situation, I'm just dealin' with it now! I owe you a drink I know, but if you can't take it now then I guess let's rain-check till next time. Do not forget your jacket.

Does anyone want to take over this frame here? This chump is leaving with 3 balls to go…………Yeah,….yeah you're Yellows.

Now, don't go moaning and getting all prissy cos you're leaving. Throwing your cue on the floor like a child. You're acting like a first year f*cking amateur, tutting and sighing - I'm acting like a solo professional! I am happy to stay here on my own. There are plenty of other players around,..and even if there wasn't, I'd stay,…I can.

,...And so don't be lookin' at me like it's MY fault. I didn't tell her I'd be back by nine. I didn't tell her it was just a couple. I didn't tell her what I knew better than NOT to tell her! F*ck, twenty minutes ago you almost told me you had to head back to watch Come Dine With Me! So, if you're gonna get antsy about having to leave and you wanna throw them bad looks somewhere, well throw 'em at a mirror! Not that you'd see much in this one in here.

You think you got set up! Do you even doubt it, man? I don't THINK you got set up, I KNOW you got set up! I mean, really, seriously, where did all those home related jobs come from, huh? One minute they're not there, the next minute they're there? Clean the bathroom, weed the front garden, change the diapers,..iron the towels! You didn't hear any sirens at iron the towels!!? The bells should have been ringing in your head the moment that piss test stick came back with the 3 smiley faces!!?

Surely you saw this one coming? The nine months of planning, those ante-natal classes with a room full of hormonal females all loaded for bear,…..all knowing exactly what the f*ck they were doing, and they were all just there! When you were sitting there practising those breast feeding techniques on them plastic babies, you thought it was all gravy. All for show, a temporary diversion?!

Haven't you f*cking thought about this at all? You're telling me that this is just dawning on you now, a wake up call,.. in this land of the rising sun?!

Listen GO, just go. I'll finish your Strongbow for you. You'd better shoot.

Game of Killer anyone?

Mr Pink's rating for The Rising Sun - 8 / 10

Rolosocosy

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• Natural Selection,..

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