Spanish Patriot, (Waterloo) (closed), now the Ruby Cock Lounge

Marty McFly (Back to the Future)

Nothing makes me want to shove some shite down the old DeLorean fuel tank like the prospect of a night down the Spanish Patriot.

There's no way I’d visit the place in the 21st century of course. Not since they turned the best pub in Waterloo into a charmless craphole called Ruby Lounge, now Lounge 54. But that's the beauty about time travel dear readers. Unlike you, I can whiz back a decade in the stainless-steel f**ker. No bother. All I need is a thunder storm – or bin full of crap.

Ahhh, the Spanish Patriot. T’was the perfect after-work slosher; a pub where carpet stuck to your shoes, the lager was served cold and n’er a braying halfwit could be found. As for Linda the landlady…… Helluvawoman….. Irish, slightly drunk, kindly, beautiful.

Isn’t that what every pub needs?

Sadly, change is as inevitable as another Die Hard sequel. I should know; I've been to future and wheelchair-Willis is on number eight!

Well, they took out the lager taps and pool tables and filled the place with bottles, ambient lighting and sofas. No doubt to pay for the painful re-fit and appeal to a more gentile, well-heeled (and stupid) crowd. People who appreciate the finer points of the scrum, you know what I'm saying. Halfwits like Biff; not a smart mudderfugger like Marty.

Now then, time to spark up the motor….Hmm…I must ask Linda what she’s doing now – except she won’t know, ‘cause she’ll be in the past.

It was so much better then weren’t it?


Marty McFly's rating for the Spanish Patriot - 10 / 10, for the Cock Lounge 0/10

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