Ebenezer Scrooge (A Christmas Carol)

Antelope (Belgravia)

Ah, Bob, it was good of you to come in. Oh, and I see that you’ve brought your family as well! Well, why the devil not. Please, sit, sit. Now what can I get you?

Hello Mr Scrooge, yes, since you requested that I pop in on my afternoon off, I thought that I may as well bring the family along, to share a Christmas drink with you.

How quaint,..all the way up from Streatham on the bus huh! Each to his own I suppose. And the drinks Bob?

Oh yes, right. Well a pint of bitter and a bloody Mary for us, 5 Coca Cola's for the kids and whatever you would like sir,……..

Thank you Bob, don’t mind if I do, I’ll take a large Cognac…………….Now Bob, I called you in to discuss the Christmas rota.

Oh right sir, that’s no problem.

Yes I just thought that I would run you through our opening hours and check that we have the necessary cover at all times.

Ok.

So, you’ll see from the schedule that we are open on Xmas eve until 11 in the evening, and then shut on Xmas day, shut on Boxing day and shut the next day,…..hmmmm,..in fact, we are then shut all the way up to New Years Eve.

On New Years Eve we are shut.

Fine.

New Years Day, we are shut.

Yep.

And we don’t actually open our doors to the ghastly public again until January 2nd 2009. Whereupon we will resume operations as normal up to the hour of 11pm. How do you feel about this Cratchit?

Suits me sir.

Yes, I thought it would. I thought it would…………What it of course means Bob, is that we will need someone on the premises at all times in order to convey the message of our seasonal closure to any potential revellers that come knocking…..That person, my dear fellow, is you.

What!?

Yes, that’s right dear chap. I will be needing you on the premises at all times to ensure that no one attempts entry............You will of course, need to maintain your sobriety at all times for such a task,….so i will ensure that all alcoholic substances are locked away out of harms way for the duration.

Sir, I,………..

Your family can certainly stay in the pub with you for the period, I understand that it is a special time of year for some. It’ll be minimal rent of course, oh,.. and you’ll need to bring some tokens for the meter with you.

Mr Scrooge, I….

No need for words my good fellow. The look on your face is all the affirmation that I need………Now where was I? Oh, yes, a bitter, a Bloody Mary and the Cokes,……Oh, and my Cognac…….That’s 30 pounds fifty to you my good man, call it 30 for cash. Tell you what, have a packet of cheese and onion on the house, for Tiny Tit.

It’s Tiny TIM sir.

Of course it is, of course it is,…whatever……………You couldn’t just nip in and clean up The Gents whilst you’re here could you? You should make quick work of it if the whole family pitch in?! I would do it myself,....but you know what my back is like!

Well, I err,..

You’re a stout fellow Bob, a stout fellow. Oh, and Bob! Merry Xmas!!

Ebeneezer Scrooge's rating for The Antelope - 10/10

Rolosocosy