Williamson's Tavern (St Paul's)

Peoples Hernandez (Shaft)

Wha the f**k you call this Puta? This ain't no high rollin joint. After all I said, all we talked about,.. after everything I told you. You go an brin me to a place like dis!!

Wheres tha champagne and tha bitches at? Where tha music and tha homies? Where tha high rollers and tha brown nosers? Where tha action?! I said to you baby, I said "City!" Pinato! ‘FINANCIAL’ district Pinocchio! And just wha daya call dis?! I thought we had a deal …!

Wha you mean, ‘This IS City’! This is just a normal pub here ain’t it, Blanci! A normal hostelry. And just offa a street call Cheapside too! What kinda skanky address is that Pulo? Jus wha you tryin ta pull here? Ya raggardy bone, cheap ass punk?

It may be the right zip code Blanchetti, but you and I both kno that this ain't what I mean't when I said take me out in yo ‘City hood’. You’re testin me foo,..
*ordering* Two Fossas please baby

,…Real ale and sausages! Jus who you thin you dealin wid here? Wha the f**k do I care about sausages homes! Where are da players, the slayers, tha honies and the monies? You takin me for a fool here blood! What kinda contacts I gonna make in here? I don’t need no cosy booths,.or home brewed real beers! Peoples needs to be out working the crowds Bolono. How’m’I’gonna work a crowd in here?

Yo like it cos it’s tucked away?! Tucked away! I’ll tuck you away yo tuck-up tic-tac!

Also, just what do you think you be wearing there Brollo?! I thought you City Dealers were likin to flaunt it? I thought we’s was a gonna be stylin-it tonight! Whas the point in earnin-it if you ain’t churnin-it baby! Check Me here, standin like a spare prick, in M & S (finest) Autograph collection and Oliver Sweeney shoes, mudday-fuk! brought this shirt - real Egyptian cotton – all special for today you know, you Mook you ,..and dere’s you dere in your ‘Smart Casual’ finolo get-up!,………How we goin get in any decent kinda place wid yous lookin like tha?…..

'Dress Down Friday'! Dress Down Friday!! Don talk to me bout Dress Down Friday you mo-fo Punita! I'll dress you down like a Waldorf salad Essay!!

Wat’s wit the Chicago Bulls baseball cap as well?..You be from f**kin Hemel Hempstead Homes? Stood there stylin-it in ya stoopid ass Rafe Lauren blouson too,..man,..you look like a f**kin Duck-Hunter!

I rode the tube all zones tonight for this, baby. All zones - 6 through 1!! Whateve happen to tha Coq D’Argent or some sh*t you mentioned,..Coney Island and Ice Barrow Bar, you said!…..And what bout dat Balls Brother Joint that you tol me bout? Surely there’s some action in dere?

It was all with tha mouth weren’t it homes. All about the image! “I’ll take you here and I’ll take you there”!,..and when it finally come down to it,..when I finally see yo cards. All you can do is bring me to a Tavern! A Tavern for f**ks sake,..i don't need to go to no old worldie ‘Golly Gosh’ Eeenglish pub-tavern Essay. We’ve got em in Tottenham for godsake Chinquila!! I am the new bree Homie,..i'm comin up Baby, going righ to tha top. Don’t need, or wan, to be messin in no pubs. Take me to the power playas surely baby,..you know I won’ be embarrassin you none!!

*Momentarily distracted* You play Golf Machie? Yeah,..well get yo change out Puta!! Me? I love tha Golf Machie. Golf Machie is phat... Tiger Wooo, Tiger Wooo, I like him, he my character. Nodder guy I like is tha Jussin Rose. But der ain't no option to be him on the machie….

,……….As I was sayin Homes - no one makes no fool outa Peoples Hernandez, Blancky,..so heres what we’re gonna do. Ima gonna crack you a deal. You say there’s a real swinging joint round the corner on the roof of some high-tower. What was it yo called it,..some French sh*t,…………..Tha Cock Agent, some sh*t?

So, here it is Puta - wha you thin bout this? This is wha we goin do. We play a lil bi on tha Gol Machie ove there,..Mano a Mano,..you and me. And the winner, he get to choose. You get a birdie firs and we stay in this Williamso pub. I get a birdie firs, then you take me to the Le Silver Coc, and introduce me to all yo lil rich 'City' friens! Maybe we go meet The Balls Bro’s after,..?

We ave a deal no? *spits on palm*. We same hymn sheet n sh*t? Puta, why you flinch? We's all friends in here baby!

Ok, I’ll be Tiger Woo,..and yo be John Daly.

*they shake*

You stick to what you kno and I stick to what I kno!? Stick to what I kno? I'm a star. Yo soy el trader! Now go get em Fossas why I tee this mofo up,…

Peoples Hernandez’ rating for Williamson’s Tavern – 9/10

Rolosocosy

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