TV news

The George (The Strand)

I don’t see why this site HAS to be about stars of the big screen reviewing pubs. Why can’t there be a bit of vice versa?

I mean, take me. I’m a pub. And I want to do a review.

Seriously.

Look at the picture. There I am - The George. You probably recognise me?

I’m sited directly opposite London’s High Court, one short hop across The Strand. And like the Monkees said back in the 1960s, I’ve got something to say.

See, I’m not just a pub; I’m a very, very angry pub that can write and has feelings. I’ve become so angry with the despicable people round here, I’ve just got to review them.

De-spick-a-ball. That’s the only word to describe them.

What with my proximity to the High Court, you probably assume I’m talking about the half-wit celebrities, airing their dirty laundry in public to land a few quid on the back of libel suits. Or maybe their smarmy lawyers in their bespoke suits, talking loopholes, fluffy wigs and with serious cider-over-ice habits.

Don’t get me wrong, I loathe b-list celebrity litigants and lawyers alike. They’re poison, but they ain’t despicable. And besides they often come inside me and then hand over cash.

No, I reserve my real bricks-and-mortar bile for the media leeches, and in particular the TV news crews. God I hate them with their cameras and bad breath. They can’t get enough of celebrity bust-ups can they? And they don’t give a monkeys who they crush to get their damn story.

Look at what they’ve done to me. They’ve turned me into an unwitting celebrity. I must be the most famous pub in Britain ‘cause I’m always on the evening news.

Heather Mills stumbles out of a taxi; I’m the fashionable backdrop. Some pension fund embezzler and lord of the realm gets away with it, I’ll be there behind the half-witted spokesman for the ripped-off pensioners.

Do the news crews ever ask my permission to film? Do they f**k. And that means I’m on telly more than Noel Edmunds (albeit I don’t think I’m quite such a figure of justifiable hatred).

I crave anonymity. Oh, what I’d do to be the Bank of England pub just down the road.

The bloody media. Make me sick to my pubby-stomach.

The George’s rating for the media – 0 / 10

Sputnikski

• View by pub
• View by reviewer
• View by place

• Natural Selection,..

  “,….. Why didn’t they live to be 100?Huh? Well, they woz running round all day, hunting mammoths, eating berries,..rumping their little hearts out. No boozing or smoking. They must have been fit as fiddles. Yer Neanderthalls……….I’ll tell you why, it’s … Continue reading →