Blonde Beer Cafe (Winchester)

Seth Brundle (The Fly)

I’m not the sort of person (or fly) who believes in change for change’s sake. In my experience there’s got to be a pretty good reason for morphing something normal into something more radical.

Bzzzzz…… Take pubs, for example. If there’s a concept that works well, like uncovered sugar bowls on the tables or dog turds in the garden, then generally my view is why change? There’s a lot to be said for the status quo.

That’s why I was a little nervous when I was approached for advice about re-branding the Cricketers. Sure, the old place was a bit on the sleepy side; one of those rare Winchester boozers with a quaint public and quiet lounge bar, but it had its charm.

Hanging from the roof, I would often watch punters arrive after a nice game of cricket ….bzzzzz…… gently supping a pint of Old Speckled Hen before going home to their Sunday lunch.

But the new owners were insistent; The alcopop generation, they told me; that was the way forward. The old farts won’t be around forever, they said uncharitably. We need a boozer to cater for the punter of tomorrow.

As for the name? Cricketers? Far too Coronation Street. You’re the most radical re-brand man in the whole marketing consultancy business, they said. Come up with an entirely new bar and drinking concept Brundle-Fly!

Bzzzzz…..

I was flattered and, yes, I agreed to take the challenge.

As I mentioned, there’s a lot to be said for the status quo, but sometimes radical change ain’t the scary thing it might first seem.

Take that time when my ears fell off. At first, I remember being a little alarmed ….bzzzzz. But, I soon got used to it. And since the advent of iPods and stupid mobile phone tones, I found that being earless was not such a bad thing.

So for the Cricketers, I used my hybrid half fly - half human experience to come up with a really radical concept. One that I felt sure the target market (under 18s) would appreciate.

I’d make this bar the sort of place where it’s nice and easy to vomit in the street after eating and drinking, complementing my propensity to do it beforehand.

Genius? Yes. Hideous too!

Bzzzzz….. Transmogrification time. The developers chucked out all the comfortable old furniture and replaced it with lots of modern crap; bussed in the cheap lager by the tanker-load to sell at hugely inflated prices and stocked up on the alcopops.

But that wasn’t all. My piece de resistance was the name. This wouldn’t be a pub any more; oh no. It’d be something altogether more upmarket; modern and metropolitan if you will.

Let me present to you Winchester’s first “beer café”. The Blonde Beer Café no less.

Job done….bzzzzz.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go and bang my head against the light for a few minutes before puking all over table five’s burger and chips.

Brundle Fly’s rating for Blonde beer Café – 4 / 10

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