Globe (London Bridge)

Michael Knight (Knight Rider)

Oh god my head, my beautiful tanned head, it feels like it’s about to explode! What time is it? Jesus,…Where am I? What the hell was I up to last night,…My god, what is this place? Ergggh, this sanitised room is making me wanna throw up…KITT!!!

Ok. Calm yourself Mike. Think Michael think! You met Arnold at ten o’clock didn’t you? The Round Table? Yeah, ten in The Table it was, I’m certain….Let’s try and get some lights on in here….

,…I remember having a few Stella’s and a couple of Whiskey chasers for sure. Me, Gary and Liam,…but there’s nothing unusual there for a Sunday night surely and,…….Oh,..Oh god, the Sambucas! I forgot the Sambucas; it’s all flooding back now. Geez this place stinks of disinfectant,..and it’s so sparcely lit.

Dancing. I remember dancing. The Hippodrome, it must have been The Hippodrome yeah,..Bridget? Why am i thinking of Bridget? And then cameras, a room full of cameras,…. What on earth am I wearing! I don’t own these duds, and, my god, what’s this crap in my hair,..this can’t be f*cking make-up on my face can it,..?!

,...What the hell am I resting my head here on this wall for? This seat is mighty uncomfortable too! Oooh, I dread to think what bird I ended up with last night,….She must have slobbered me to bits, cos i’ve foundation all over me! Look at this gaff,..what kinda skanky one-night-stand has a toilet paper dispenser in their bedroom?!

Oooooh,…Bugger!! *finding the light switch in the toilets, checking around him on the floor*,…. KITT!!!!!

Car keys, I need those f*cking car keys? *rummaging around in his trousers (which are round his ankles)* Oh god *another accident* they’re soaking; drenched! The clicker is bound to be screwed.

KITT,..Oh, KITT help me, where are you pal!? Damn! No sodding reception.

Pull yourself together Michael, get out of this khasi and into the fresh air. You're obviously in some boozer, and KITT's bound to be parked-up close by.
*Michael Knight pulls up his jeans, gives the honky ‘fro a quick dampening down at the sink and then staggers through into the kinda horseshoe shaped bar at The Globe. It’s pleasantly dark with a few lunch-timers playing dart’s in the corner. “Word Up” by Cameo is on the Jukey.*

Well, this is better than expected, I certainly coulda picked a lot worse places to wake up in. I fact,.now that i'm up, 'Hoffman’ could maybe do with quick eye-opener, before I get my bearings...Oh yeah! "What time is it please landlady?"

“3 in the afternoon Dave, you came in at 11am on the dot as usual,..good kip?”

This bird is obviously a nut-case, still, I’ll get a swift couple in, bell KITT and then head back to the flat. Just a touch of the old Amber-Nectar-Turbo-Boost to kick things into action first I reckon, and then back for 40 winks. Best call KITT now though I guess, so that he can set out en-route to pick me up,…*goes outside to make the call*

*dialing*

“,……….Hi, whoever you are (Michael)! You’ve reached the voicemail of KITT, I’m either turned off right now, sweet talking a Subaru, clamped, dealing with some other crisis or,…sick and tired of your ludicrous antics you bum!!! Please leave a message, which I will immediately erase,….Mwa!”

"That stinkin pile of crap!!"

*Trudges back into the pub*

“Everything alright over there Dave? How was the motor,..alright? You still want your usual?”

I don’t know this women from Adam West, but best to humour her I guess - “Yeah,..oh yeah,…thanks a lot Steph darling, and give me the usual chaser as well will you?”

“No problem Dave, you got you wallet on you now? You seemed to have problems tracing it earlier,….”

“My wallet? Well yes of course, it’s always here in my trusty leather jacke,…Where the f*ck is my coat?!”

"Don’t worry Dave, forget it. Your jacket will turn up soon (it always does). And anyhow, you probably weren’t allowed to wear it on TV this morning were ya; what with the sheen from the lights an all…..?You were brilliant by the way, we all loved it in here, I almost spat out my Sugarpuffs at one point!....What the hell were you up to with that Scottish presenter you old dog!? You deserve a couple of freebies on the house just for that display alone! Some of the best TV that I’ve seen in ages without a doubt!! What are you like?!”

“Oh right, yeah,..thanks.” Mad as a box of rats this one.

“Tell you what Dave,..err, I mean Michael,..go over to your table and I’ll bring your drinks over. Once you’ve had a couple, I’ll whack on the video. See, we taped the show this morning,..you’re gonna love seeing what you got up to,..funny as hell!” 

“Oh right,..was i?!......Do us a favour Steph my love, and make that chaser a double will ya,…”

*Mike leans on the table with his head in his hands, his mobile goes off. He checks the caller ID and it’s Arnold from Diff’rent Strokes*

“Oh for f*cks sake!”

Arnold is pretty keen to find Michael,....

Michael Knight’s rating for The Globe – 8 / 10

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