Browns Bar (Westminster)

Betty Boop (Who Framed Roger Rabbit)

Consider this. You're a washed-up 1920's cartoon character. Even back in the roaring 20s, when a glimpse of stocking was …..well …. ya know….something shocking …. you weren't sexy.

Fast forward to the eighties. You've been cast in a film as a washed-up 1920s cartoon character, a waitress in a fictional bar, run by - erm - cartoon characters.

It gets worse ... and even more surreal. Quarter of a century later, you're asked to review a bar, for a web site featuring fictional reviews of London boozers, written by fictional characters.

It's a mindfizz innit?

But it doesn't even end there, sugar. The bar I've been asked to review doesn't even exist – it's fictional too. How am I expected to square that circle (like those early cartoonists did to my ridiculously shaped swede)?

So…..what can I tell you about Brown's Bar at 10 Downing Street in Westminster?

Sweet Fanny Adams! It doesn't exist. What's the matter with you lot? Haven't you read a word of this? it's all cobblers.

Boo boo be doop.

Betty Boop's rating for Brown's Bar ….oh dear God!

Sputnikski

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• Natural Selection,..

  “,….. Why didn’t they live to be 100?Huh? Well, they woz running round all day, hunting mammoths, eating berries,..rumping their little hearts out. No boozing or smoking. They must have been fit as fiddles. Yer Neanderthalls……….I’ll tell you why, it’s … Continue reading →