Crown and Greyhound (Dulwich)

Carlin (Scum)

I've been doing a stretch at this sh*theap for the last 3 year. Anyone who's done stirr here knows that its split into 3 sections - A-Wing, B-Wing and C-Wing.

C-Wing is the quiet end with fruity's; where they house all the nonces and perverts. You'll have trouble getting served by the f*****g screws round that side, on account of the fact that none of the c**ts ever tip up over there,...wankers.

I started my stretch on B-Wing - the middle section - it was quiet and i soon took control of the whole manor - not many other c**ts in there to contend with.

I bided my time as the daddy of B-Wing - I had control of the Pistachios,..in fact all nibbles, and the Doorstep Sandwiches that had to pass through there at the weekends. This was getting me some unwanted attention from the chief c**ts in A-Wing - which is the main section of the whole f*****g joint. I didnt want it to kick off - i was happy with my Pistachio caper - wasn't interested in having control of the toilets or the Carvery - but the main man in A-Wing wanted to control the whole f*****g boozer, so a tear up was inevitable.

It was arranged that I meet A-Wing's main boy at the back of the pattio'ed garden - next to the new extension that was built sometime in the early part of this century. I snuck a bar stool out back for the meet. As I approached I said to him " alright - where's your stool?" - " what f*****g stool?" He responded - "THIS F*****G STOOL" I cried as i pulled out the stool from behind me and proceeded to bash the slags head all around the walled garden. "I RUN F*****G B-WING, YOU LOOK AFTER A-WING - BUT IM THE F*****G DADDY - LOOK AFTER YOUR PATCH AND YOU'LL GET YOUR PERKS BUT I'M THE F*****G DADDY"

So now i run the whole f*****g joint - i got the Pistachios out of B-Wing and the Ciabattas out the Carvery  - i'm f*****g laughing. Any of you c**ts get sent to do a stretch here, you better f*****g remember that I'm the f*****g daddy.

Carlin's rating for the Crown & Greyhound - 10/10

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