Pride of Paddington (Paddington)

Manolo Ribera (Scarface)

He's a tad loco Toni, and I’m seeing his sister.

It's a tricky one I know.

Old skool mates ya see, from the mean streets of Burnley. Down in the big smoke since we were 16, pursuing the English dream – to knock out moody DVDs and sundry crap in random juicers.

Toni was always the leader, always driven. He used to go onto me about money bringing power and then power bringing birds. I never truly believed him, but he was right, it's happened, and now I'm sitting pretty in Hadley Wood.

By god we've done it.

We've banged out more fake DVDs, in more boozers, then any other jerks in London. Our partners at Wing Wong pictures in Shanghai can barely keep up with us:

“Ming, they needing more DVD London, what we got in Pipeline?”

“Ruck-all ronestly. But we have new Wesley Stripes vehicle, “Lethal Jacket”, back from factory in 4 weeks.”

“Ming, that too long, too freakin' wrong! For God's saking, what cwap available now! What we got shelved?”

“We have this cwap here,.Say on box – “Rom Com with Liz Hurley and Danny DeVito starring as unlikely,..”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,..box it, send it,…now!”

Whatever they sent, we sold. Within six months, we had driven all existing cartels outa the market, full stop.

We were living like kings.

The Taffs? Forget it. The Jocks? Nae way!..The Diaz brothers? Forget about the Diaz brothers! We were the kingpins, we ruled the roost.

Sure we've had to do some things along the way, that were, shall we say, 'less than honourable' and we've certainly been places that, well, that you wouldn’t find in a tourist guide.

Now, I’m a tough guy, but when we first set foot in the Pride of Paddington, I remember thinking “Damn, these tourists need to get out more”. Tony, of course, showed no emotion, and coolly knocked out a box set of Police Academies (in Dutch), to a pack of Daego students, as if it were a walk in the park. But I could not shake the feeling that we were being watched, maybe even groomed, if you will.

We did business in The Pride on a regular basis of course: It's dark simplicity, stench, and the complex staining patterns on the carpet were all conducive to our work. However, it was never a place that I would choose to go for pleasure. Getting served at the bar was like visiting someone in prison.

I can thank The Pride for one thing though. It was the place where I first sensed the blossoming romance between Toni's sister Gina and I.

I will never forget how she looked at me (with that huge hair) when I said, "Let's get out of this hell-hole Honey-cheeks!"

We did, and we have never looked back from there. Toni doesn't know of course, but I'll tell him soon. I’m sure that once he finds out (that we are to be married), he will be happy for the pair of us,…I’m sure he will.

Volatile as he is, we go back a long way.

Anyway, as for now, it's time to fix a quick couple of drinks, and get cosy together for Silent Witness at 9. Bliss.

*Ding Dong*

“Don’t worry Honey, I’ll get it,…………It’s probably the pizza guy,…………………..”

Manny Ribera’s rating for The Pride of Paddington – 2 / 10

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