Ratty (Wind in the Willows)

Angelic (Angel)

*It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you
Without a strong rat to step to*

Gerbils! I should have known better. What an idiot. All the way up to Barnsley on Virgin Rail, only to get blown-out by a stinking Gerbil! She played me like a piano (running along the keys - metaphorically), that teasing little shrew.

See, I’ve been reading a lot of self help books recently. "Empower Your Inner rat", "You’re A Stong Rodent – Let It Show." etc

So, 'Should have known better' is right. I guess (if I’m following it correctly) - In search of Self Actualization, I’ve mistakenly followed my Id,..overwhelmed by my inner drive to sleep with a different species,..or something like that.  Whatever, one thing I do know, is that I need some positive stroking, some reassurance, a bit of a pick-me-up. So when I get off the train in Kings Cross, I bus-it directly up to Angel. To The Angelic.

*It's a 3 letter word when it's heard,  it control
your body to dance (You got it) Rat.*

When you get beat down, get straight back on the bike, back in the game, back on the market. *I’m The Soloist, The Soul Controller*. I’m a Tiger! So they tell me.

*Def wit the rodent that was ditched a short time ago*

“Think about your song,” said one book. “Your motivational tune! Get into your Happy Place, you’re You,” it said, “You Da Rat!”

*I start to think and then I sink
Into the boozer, like I was ink*

So, I’ve come to The Angelic. It always cheers me up in here. You see they play comedy in the toilets.

The boozer itself, well it’s no great shakes, bit poncey for my tastes really. Nothing really to set it apart – Apart, that is, from the whole deep fried Camemberts they do. *Salivating* Many’s the time, I’ve been face down in one of them of an evening!  Dark days, dark days….Ahem,..But those days are behind me now, since I’ve been reading my books.

*Ratty gets stronger as I get older*

No need for cheese binges these days, I know exactly what’s gonna get me back on track. A nice cold pint of Carling and a good old crease-up in the stalls. So I get my pint in, (the service was a tad lethargic - mind you, I’ve no bar presence) and scurry downstairs to the bogs.

Now, having done this before, I know that it’s pretty unwise to kick around with a pint next to the urinals, creasing up (three weeks in hospital the first time). So I get in a cubicle instead.

It’s Eddie Izzard! Wicked, he’s one of my favourites. I pull down my baseball cap (no more deer-stalkers for me – bad connotations), and get comfy. This is gonna sort me right out!

"I get hype when I hear something droll
Ratty is on the john and you know I got soul."

Ratty’s rating for The Angelic – 10 / 10

Rolosocosy

Moley's been reviewing too - Corrib Rest

Toad's new craze - boozing, swearing, footy, fruit machines etc