Ye Grapes (Mayfair)

Kit de Luca (Pretty Woman)

You looking for a good time, honey? Well, follow your little tootsies and come on down to Shepherds Market in Mayfair. It's home to more Toms than a cattery, not to mention a nifty selection of bars and restaurants.

You'll find the real deal down here sugar, proper working girls like me and the beautiful Vivian. That's right sugar, I said the beautiful Vivian.

Oh I'm sorry; have I shocked you? You thought the pretty woman had been whisked out of the gutter for a lifetime of bliss and respectability? A happily-ever-after story straight from Disney?

Give me a break hon, and get real. Life ain't no fairy tale. Once a Tom, always a Tom; once a trick, always a trick. It's like yin and yan, both parties know their station in life, and that's right down low baby.

Viv thought Edward was different of course. She was always kind of naïve, but I saw through him right away. All the same, I was jealous as hell when Viv got the big £3,000 dollar pay day.

Soon as she'd settled down into a lifetime of evening gowns and dinner parties, things changed. Edward was back on the strip, picking up whatever piece of skirt he could find at 30 bucks a time.

….. what …. are you - nuts? It was always going to happen.

I know what you're thinking too - and I'm not too proud to say the answer's yes. I had the guy – for a solid 100. What he had in the trouser department didn't live up to the wallet though, and I wonder if he might even be gay. He was cute though – and rich, which is why I let him round my back door.

Anyway, soon as he'd finished I went and told Viv straight out. What else was I to do? he might have been her husband, but she was my buddy. She was ablubbin' and a cussin', but it didn't take her five minutes to pack a suitcase and come away with Kit.

Fast forward a decade or so. Life ain't so different here in London. Hustlin' is hustlin' and we got ourselves a pimp that treats us kinda nice, when he isn't off his head on crack.

Plus, Mayfair's got some cool bars we can hang in on our days off. This place, Ye Grapes is a so-so example. It takes a while to get served, but the landlady's got a wicked turn of phrase for stupid punters when they get out of order.

We kinda appreciate that. Shows a working girl a little solidarity.

Kit de Luca's rating for Ye Grapes – 6 / 10

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