Hello pub fans, site host William 'D-Fens' Foster here. You may remember me from angry 90s psycho-flick Falling Down.

After a tiring day smashing up shops, terrorising Wammy Burger joints and watching old men die on the golf course, there's nothing I like more than to slip into a boozer for a pint of cool lager.

But I know it's not always easy to pick a winner, particularly if you're new to the game. So we created www.fallingdownthepub.co.uk to help you sniff out the decent boozers - and avoid the crap holes.

Our site features more than 200 pub reviews written by drunk, dispossessed and maladjusted stars of the big (and small) screen. From King Kong and Gandhi to R2D2 and the Little Mermaid, this is the place to come for advice.

We're always looking for more material too. After all, there are hundreds of boozers in London, thousands throughout the UK and millions worldwide. And countless washed-up old alcoholics with nothing better to do than review them. Check out the site for more details.

Now clear a path. I'm coming home - after a couple of pints.

Benjamin Braddock (The Graduate)

Angel in the Fields (Marylebone)

**** me, I can't wait to tell my mates. I've got a bunch of them coming down to this gaff in Marylebone in a minute and I'm gagging to spill the beans over a few beers.

I've avoided the temptation to send a text or chuck round a few emails. But if I don't tell someone soon, I'm going to explode!

Let me ask you a question. What's the best in-the-sack experience you could possibly imagine? Huh?

Maybe you're thinking "Joss Stone up the a**e?" Perhaps it's "Kiera Knightly in her football clobber on my face?" Or just possibly, you're into "a couple of hot lezzers who turn on the hetro tap for a quickie threesome in a darkened alleyway?"

Not even close to what's happened to me mate. I can hardly believe it meself, what with me only
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Cos Bar, Blackfriars

Alice in Wonderland does Hammer House of Horror

Shoeless Joe Jackson, Field of Dreams

Sun & 13 Cantons (Soho)

It was a press more furious than the battle for Aquilonia

Conan the Barbarian

Three Crowns, Piccadilly

I ain't going back in that dump

R2D2, Star Wars

Mabels Tavern, Kings Cross

Barmaids .. like supermodels force fed foie-gras

Superman

Pitcher and Piano, Bishopsgate

You ever see that film Gorillas in the mist?

Detective Lieutenant Frank Drebben, Naked Gun

Tiger Tiger, Piccadilly

They were getting us in Two-by-Two, like that fella,..Noah.

Frodo Baggins, Lord of the Rings

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