• Latest Reviews - Moon Lee Takeaway (Bow) 30 Aug 2012

    Blakey (On the Buses)

    We finished filming early today, and the lads – Stan, Jack, and I – fancied a livener.

    It was a good shoot at the LWT Wembley Studios – we shot an amazing sketch where the lads went crazy in a Routemaster, skidding about the place, and I ended up ...read more

  • Latest Reviews - Bar l'Alize (Aix-les-Bains) 20 May 2012

    Batman (Batman and Robin)

    “Holy hangovers, Batman, we’ve lost our special powers!”

    My young friend Robin was right. We HAD lost something. But I was convinced he didn’t mean all the bat-related stuff. Hmmm....

    Let me back track a little by way of background.

    Last week, the Batmobile let us down. ...read more

  • Latest Reviews - Ye Old London (St Pauls) 28 Apr 2012

    Laszlo de Almasy (The English Patient)

    Try and avoid it all you like, but there’s little else to do but think, when you’re staring at the same ceiling all day.

    I’m thinking, Yes I’m deep in thought. The meaningful stuff you know; What’s my raison d’etre? How big is my carbon footprint?,… ...read more

  • Latest Reviews - The Green (Shepherds Bush) 26 Apr 2012

    Three Breasted Hooker (Total Recall)

    In the battle for hearts and minds, we were encouraged to play-up the deformity angle. Sympathy was key, our revolutionary leaders told us, in the drive to gain support and crush the air-oppressors.

    To be honest I wasn’t keen to go to the barricades. ...read more

  • Latest Reviews - Bar Sagres (Geneva) 11 Mar 2012

    Che Guevara (Motorcycle Diaries)

    Let me start this review by making one thing clear. Las Malvinas were, are and always will be British. And I make that firm declaration as a dead Argie!

    So now we’ve put that political hot potato to bed, can we please move on to my ...read more

dfens foster

FALLING DOWN

A message from site host William 'D-Fens' Foster - Hello pub fans, you may remember me from angry 90s psycho-flick Falling Down.read more

Coming soon..exclusive falling down the pub t-shirts!
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Nurse Mildred Ratched (One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest)

All Bar One (Sutton)

Like the near-sighted leading the blind. Or more specifically, like the mad leading the insane. I decided to take em down Sutton High Street.

What possessed me to lead this motley crew of vacuous perverts to this place in particular? OK, so the atmosphere is as threatening as that joker Randle P MacMurphy at half mast. Yes, the array of mood lighting should induce non-violent reactions. And of course, it’s the only place in town with its own pseudo brewery. But the other patrons in here seem to have more in common with my wards than I’d anticipated.   

And if Martini doesn’t stop trying to put his cocktail-sausage fingers up my skirt I’m gonna book him a session with a chair and 10,000 less-than-friendly volts. The creepy dwarf beams his inane grin as I slap his podgy mitts away for the
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  • And the Market Porter Award goes to……

    Falling Down the Pub proudly presents its inaugural Market Porter Award!  The accolade, which in years to come may well be described as ‘prestigious’ by lazy PR people working on behalf of winning film companies, is being given to a … Continue reading

top quotes

Cos Bar, Blackfriars

Alice in Wonderland does Hammer House of Horror

Shoeless Joe Jackson, Field of Dreams

Sun & 13 Cantons (Soho)

It was a press more furious than the battle for Aquilonia

Conan the Barbarian

Three Crowns, Piccadilly

I ain't going back in that dump

R2D2, Star Wars

Mabels Tavern, Kings Cross

Barmaids .. like supermodels force fed foie-gras

Superman

Pitcher and Piano, Bishopsgate

You ever see that film Gorillas in the mist?

Detective Lieutenant Frank Drebben, Naked Gun

Tiger Tiger, Piccadilly

They were getting us in Two-by-Two, like that fella,..Noah.

Frodo Baggins, Lord of the Rings