• Latest Reviews - Moon Lee Takeaway (Bow) 30 Aug 2012

    Blakey (On the Buses)

    We finished filming early today, and the lads – Stan, Jack, and I – fancied a livener.

    It was a good shoot at the LWT Wembley Studios – we shot an amazing sketch where the lads went crazy in a Routemaster, skidding about the place, and I ended up ...read more

  • Latest Reviews - Bar l'Alize (Aix-les-Bains) 20 May 2012

    Batman (Batman and Robin)

    “Holy hangovers, Batman, we’ve lost our special powers!”

    My young friend Robin was right. We HAD lost something. But I was convinced he didn’t mean all the bat-related stuff. Hmmm....

    Let me back track a little by way of background.

    Last week, the Batmobile let us down. ...read more

  • Latest Reviews - Ye Old London (St Pauls) 28 Apr 2012

    Laszlo de Almasy (The English Patient)

    Try and avoid it all you like, but there’s little else to do but think, when you’re staring at the same ceiling all day.

    I’m thinking, Yes I’m deep in thought. The meaningful stuff you know; What’s my raison d’etre? How big is my carbon footprint?,… ...read more

  • Latest Reviews - The Green (Shepherds Bush) 26 Apr 2012

    Three Breasted Hooker (Total Recall)

    In the battle for hearts and minds, we were encouraged to play-up the deformity angle. Sympathy was key, our revolutionary leaders told us, in the drive to gain support and crush the air-oppressors.

    To be honest I wasn’t keen to go to the barricades. ...read more

  • Latest Reviews - Bar Sagres (Geneva) 11 Mar 2012

    Che Guevara (Motorcycle Diaries)

    Let me start this review by making one thing clear. Las Malvinas were, are and always will be British. And I make that firm declaration as a dead Argie!

    So now we’ve put that political hot potato to bed, can we please move on to my ...read more

dfens foster

FALLING DOWN

A message from site host William 'D-Fens' Foster - Hello pub fans, you may remember me from angry 90s psycho-flick Falling Down.read more

Coming soon..exclusive falling down the pub t-shirts!
Hall of fame

Ariel (The Little Mermaid)

Tattersall Castle (Embankment)

You might ask yourself: what's the world coming to when a fishy-tailed little redhead spends all her free time drinking herself to death on a floating River Thames pub? It's a question I often ask myself as I prop the bar, sopping evening gown covering my soggy bottom, dripping all over the wooden floor.

As a near-topless 16-year old I could've had my pick of guys, even after the prince dumped me. They were falling over themselves to get to get under the sea with me, if you get my north Atlantic drift. Tail or not, boys were queuing up for a fish supper.

Things have changed now though. I got a real alcohol problem and, as the years have worn on, water retention's been cruel. My tail's as scabby as a 70-year-old washer-woman. Worst of all though, I eventually made my
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Pussy

  • And the Market Porter Award goes to……

    Falling Down the Pub proudly presents its inaugural Market Porter Award!  The accolade, which in years to come may well be described as ‘prestigious’ by lazy PR people working on behalf of winning film companies, is being given to a … Continue reading

top quotes

Cos Bar, Blackfriars

Alice in Wonderland does Hammer House of Horror

Shoeless Joe Jackson, Field of Dreams

Sun & 13 Cantons (Soho)

It was a press more furious than the battle for Aquilonia

Conan the Barbarian

Three Crowns, Piccadilly

I ain't going back in that dump

R2D2, Star Wars

Mabels Tavern, Kings Cross

Barmaids .. like supermodels force fed foie-gras

Superman

Pitcher and Piano, Bishopsgate

You ever see that film Gorillas in the mist?

Detective Lieutenant Frank Drebben, Naked Gun

Tiger Tiger, Piccadilly

They were getting us in Two-by-Two, like that fella,..Noah.

Frodo Baggins, Lord of the Rings

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